Top Ten Best/Worst Playoff Beards 2010
Aaaah playoff beards. Started by the Islanders in the 80's as a way to rally and it hasn't looked back since. It has since caught fire over the decades and is now a full fledged tradition. Some can pull the look off with ease, looking like a shipwrecked castaway in a matter of weeks. Others are not so lucky, having to struggle with the sting of poor genetics or having no Italian heritage. They try, but come up so short. So let us look at their failed attempts, and others triumphs.
The best/worst playoff beards of the 2010 playoffs
Honorable Mentions: Scott Niedermayer
Yes he didn't make the playoffs but this thing deserves our attention. Old Greybeard himself, Scott Neidermayer. You know he wakes up with this thing on his face every morning, and shaves it off with nothing but a bar of Lever 2000 and a rusty hatchet. 'Cuz he's badass like that.
10. Marc-Andre Fleury
See I feel bad for this kid. First, he looks like the love child of the Cryptkeeper, and second, he can't even hide his ugly face with a proper beard. The best he can do is this Victorian era number. Still got him a cup though, so whatever works man.
9. Dan Boyle
This one I just found interesting. 90% of the beard is good. But there is some patches missing. Probably ripped out in frustration for scoring on his own net in the Colorado series.
8. Daniel Briere
Daniel kind of has a Emo/Abe lincoln thing going on here. It's like if Abe wrote the Gettysburg Address while cranking My Chemical Romance.
7. Patrick Marleau
This is an impressive face of follacles. I swear Scott Neidermayer ghost is possessing him, if of course, Scott was dead.
6. Joe Pavelski
Now he has had a great playoffs, but dude, it looks like you have a beagles nutsack on your face. And with his short hair, it looks like he is growing a full cranial beard. ( If such a thing never existed before, then ladies and gentlemen, may I present....The Pavelski)
5. Todd Bertuzzi
Now if the Red Wings had made it farther, this thing may have been the beard of the playoffs. As if Bert wasn't intimidating enough, this beard makes him look like Bluto from Popeye and the unabomber had a son together.
4. Valtteri Filppula
Valtteri Filppula, winger for the Red Wings? Or adolescent viking? Or could be both. You tell me.
3. Jonathan Toews
This guy is a fantastic hockey player, but lets face it, during the regular season he looks like a cast member from kids incoporated. And his mutton-choppy attempt at a playoff beard leaves him looking somewhere between a turn of the century vampire and a roadie for Arcadefire. But he will probably have his name on the cup this year so whatever works man.
2. Sydney Crosby
This mess, is as awkward as it was last season. A pubescent, patchy mess that makes us think he forgot how to use soap. If I were Reebok, I would tell him that we want our spokesman to look like a hockey player. Not like the creepy kid who watches us play Tekken at the arcade.
And the number 1
1. Max talbot
Far and away, the best beard of the playoffs.Last year he had a burgeoning Chewbacca on his face; a bushy postseason beard whose tangled vines engulfed his chin strap and, as the Penguins advanced deeper into the playoffs, engulfed the majority of his mug. As you can see, it was nearly a "Cast Away" beard. I was hoping Talbot would win the cup again, just to see him raise the Stanley Cup and then attempt to hand it to a volleyball that he confides in during lonely nights stranded on the island. Or at the very least, bite into a live lobster during a locker-room celebration. Guy isn't human, maybe he spends his off season aboard the Flying Dutchman, guiding lost sailors to the afterlife.(In case your lost, its a davey jones reference from pirates of the carribean).