The Right to Remain Silent... For a 3 Count: Best Wrestler Mug Shots
With the news of yet another arrest in the career of Scott Hall, I got to thinking about who in the wrestling business has been cuffed and stuffed, and who out of this elite group has the best mug shots.
What I can tell you is that there are several that are moderately funny, while others not so much.
None of them however reach the pinnacle of the Nick Nolte mug (pictured above) that combines Hawaiian shirt, drunken confused look, and greasy white man afro.
I have taken the liberty of gathering the best of what I could find, and in no particular order I give you the best sports entertainers that have ever entertained while in lockup.
At least I hope they were entertaining and not something else.....
"What about me? What about Kanyon?"
Well, Chris you are first on the list with your disorderly conduct arrest in Tampa back in 2004. There is nothing really funny about the incident as he was said to be breaking up a fight.
What struck me as funny about this incident was that a fellow wrestler named Altar Boy Luke bailed him out for $750.
Either way this mid carder from the WCW crap and WWE watered down Invasion era looks none too pleased in his mug.
Evidently he was not thrilled with the fact they had no champagne for the man nicknamed that. I guess Kanyon was hoping that there was so that there would be no sex in the champagne room.
Dirty Dick Slater
Well a guy named Dirty Dick Slater going to jail probably doesn't surprise a lot of people.
He wrestled through the 70's, 80's, and 90's for many promotions both big and small. What's more remarkable than his in ring career is the stuff that happened outside of it.
In the early 1980's Slater was actually shot during a bar fight. By who you may ask? Another fellow wrestler by the name of Wahoo McDaniel.
During an altercation in a Tampa bar, someone had made a comment about Tommy Rich's wife and had grabbed a knife. Wahoo had no intentions of being scalped so he said the hell with it and grabbed a gun.
Wahoo pistol-whipped the man, and as he did the gun went off shooting Dirty Dick. When police arrived, Slater said, "A sniper got me."
Wow! It doesn't get much more F-d up than that, or does it.
The mug pictured above is from his 2004 arrest for stabbing his girlfriend with a butcher's knife. Yep, I said butcher's knife.
Evidently ol' Dicky was all hopped up on morphine and oxy's when his girlfriend must have pissed him off. He doesn't recall what sparked his rage or what even happened. He has been quoted as saying,
"It was all drug related... most of it all. I couldn't tell you what happened."
He was sentenced to one year's house arrest and 2 years probation for the offense. I guess when your named Dirty Dick you can get away with stabbing someone with a butcher's knife.
I think this mug says tortured chef that ended up never learning to cook and taking it out on his ol' lady with the knife he so desperately wanted to use for something useful...
The five time, five time, five time WCW champion Booker T has done time. His felony offense ranks up there with some of the better ghetto capers I have ever heard.
Living in the hood of Houston, Booker Huffman had no choice but to pull an Eddie Guerrero and Lie, cheat, and steal. He and his buddies had this great idea, let's rob the place where we work.
As an employee of a local Wendy's, he and his three buddies decided that minimum wage and free jr. cheeseburgers weren't enough for all their hard work. So, one night they decided to rob the place.
The problem with the plan, you ask? They robbed the place while still in their Wendy's uniforms. Wow!
Police saw the surveillance tapes and figured it was an inside job (duh). King Booker was arrested along with his court and sentenced to five years in the joint.
The Book only did about 19 months and soon after he began his journey into the biz.
Wendy's founder Dave Thomas was never much of a fan of Harlem Heat due to the incident...
Andre the Giant
As a former cameraman, this next incident scares the bejesus out of me. I mean, who wouldn't be scared of a 600-pound pissed-off Giant.
The WWF was in Linn County, Iowa (Cedar Rapids) on this beautiful evening back in 1989. One of the matches from this house show was Andre the Giant taking on the Ultimate Warrior. WWF televison was trying to build up an angle of whether the Warrior could slam Andre?
At many house shows they had let the Warrior slam Andre, in preparation for a hyped pay-per-view event. Well, one of the local TV camera men was told to not shoot anything from the match, and definitely not shoot Andre being body slammed, and he agreed. He shot the match, which enraged Andre.
Afterwards Andre came over, pulled the cables out of this poor Iowegian's camera and put the poor bastard in a head lock. I can only imagine the smell that came from under the Giant's underarms.
Either way Andre was cuffed and stuffed and charged with assault. The camera guys head luckily didn't explode and went on to start a storyline as Eugene in WWE...
Stone Cold Steve Austin
When you hear the glass, someone's ass is going to jail. That was the case back in 2002 when police were called out to Austin's San Antonio home.
Allegedly he was on what his then-wife Debra called a "roid rage." Police found her with bruises on her arm and Austin was sent to jail.
Judging by the mug shot, he knew where he was heading and dressed accordingly. I have not seen a lot of people already in orange when they get to jail. Nice fashion statement, Steveweiser!
The Big Show was arrested back in 1998 for doing something that makes me laugh so hard it is hard to type. He showed his BIG SHOW to a female motel employee in Memphis after a show.
I can only speculate on why he did this. Maybe he was drunk? Maybe he was bored? But, I think it was because Hollywood told him to and threatened to beat him with his belt if he didn't.
Again, this is just specualtion, but I also think it could have been an angle they wanted to run. I am sure WCW was jealous of the naked Mideon at the time.
The criminal case was later dropped, as was the employee's mouth after she saw what the show was all about.
Grand Master Sexay
Jerry Lawler should be proud of his little boy.
Brian Lawler, AKA Grand Master Sexay was part of a very popular tag team, Too Cool, back in the late 90's and early 2000's in the WWF.
But, that was then, and the mug shot above is now.
Lawler was arrested for for disorderly conduct back in February 2009 and followed that up with a public intox in June of the same year. He was later given his dad's crown and declared the biggest douche on the indy circuit.
In this picture above notice the black eye. I think he got beat up in jail for wearing a Big Bird-yellow shirt and smelling of King Cobra.
Again, this is just speculation, but he definitely was hopped up on some cheap 7 eleven booze on this night.
There is no way I could resist this one.
"Hey yo, you come to see WCW? Or did you come out to see me get loaded, break shit, and resist arrest? Yet another one for the Bad Guy!"
At least I can picture him saying that a few weeks ago when he was arrested yet again for public intoxication.
According to police, he became aggressive with a female bartender and customers, and eventually punched the window out on the car that was arranged for him to be driven home in.
When police arrived he was slurring and cursing and vintage WCW'ing the hell out of it. Unfortunately the cops that showed up were real and not actors and took the bad guy to the Seminole County jail's drunk tank.
Reports from inside the jail say that Hall wanted to know where his "wolfpac" was and if anybody had told Hot Rod who the new U.S. Champ was. All joking aside, it is sad to see this guy not be able to get his life together.
This next guy has as many arrests as anyone in the business. The picture above I believe is from his 2003 DUI where they found him slumped over the wheel after rear ending a car. The Narcissist also had a 9mm in his car, which is just what this guy needed.
A few days prior to the incident he was arrested for battery after allegedly beating his live in girlfriend Miss Elizabeth. Cobb County officials say that she had two black eyes and a bump on her head. I am hoping the Big Boss Man came to the house and beat Luger with his night stick.
Luger was also initially linked to Miss Elizabeth's death a few weeks later when they found a small pharmaceutical company in their town home. The charges were later dropped as the incident was ruled an accident. He did however receive probation for the drug possession.
Then, if all of that wasn't enough, he was removed from a flight in 2005 with fellow wrestlers Buff Bagwell and Scott Steiner after TSA realized he was a wanted man for an outstanding felony. He did his time, and last time I saw him he was on the 700 club talking about the Jebus.
WOOOOOO! He is the limosine ridin', jet flyin', kiss stealin, wheelin', dealin', sonofabitch! The Nature Boy Ric Flair! WOOOO!
Ric got in soem trouble back in 2005 after a road rage incident in Charlotte. According to reports he allegedly got out of his car, grabbed the driver by his neck, and kicked in the door. There were no details as to whether he strutted and yelled wooo after the incident.
Falir was picked up and booked on simple assault charges and later released. Then WWE writers had the great idea to include this as an angle with his pending feud with Edge.
I don't remember it too well, but I am sure it was a poorly shot, poorly produced piece that no one cared about, but hey, it's pro wrestling, what can you expect?
I think this mug shot says my hair is so white that it is really transparent, and the cut on my nose is from me bumping my head while woooing into the mirror.
Wrapping up the wrestler rap sheets.
I know it is not fun to poke fun at some of these guys, but come on! Really! Guys like Hall and Luger truly are victims of addiction, while a guy like Booker T is just a victim of the street. But these other guys have no reason to be on here.
When you are a big wrestling superstar you should act like it. I never saw Joe Montana put a camera man in a head lock. Kobe Bryant hasn't tried to stab his wife with a butcher knife yet, or if so we don't know about it. I have never heard of Peyton Manning showing his junk to a chick at the front desk of the Holiday Inn.
It is sad to see how many wrestlers end up with a rap sheet. These guys have the world as their oyster and decide to piss it all away by beating wifes and doind drugs. In my opinion it is just unacceptable and they should live their lives like it is real, and not scripted.
But, that's just my opinion, I could be wrong.....