Things in Sports That Annoy Me: Predictions

Joel McDonaldContributor IMay 25, 2010

Now don't get me wrong here, I'm a homer through and through. I want to see my team excel in whatever sport they so happen to be in. But its becoming more and more obvious to me over the last few years, especially since I joined B/R, that a few too many people in this world believe that they possess an awesome power, a touch of the Divine if you will. A power so great, so fantastic that they could use said power to help humanity, to warn us of our wrong doings before we do them, save us from our sins before we even contract the thought of sinning. But sadly no, these gifted individuals choose not to help their fellow man, they choose to use their gifts for a more useless purpose. I am,of course, talking about: Predictions.

"What?" You ask. "How can this be?" You say. "Surely he can't be talking about me? I predicted that the Canadians would beat the Capitals and the Penguins. I knew it all along." Did ya? Did ya really? If you called that from the beginning, then why didn't you use your amazing power of foresight and win some money on sports select, or better yet, look ahead to see why your friends don't invite you to watch the game anymore because you annoy them too much with your sports predictions.

Now before you jump down my throat, I have no problem with an educated guess. If you have a well thought out "idea" of who will win a game or season based on actual stats or real facts, then be my guest. Lord knows I have done the same thing. It's these guys that will look you dead in the eyes and tell you exactly how the season is going to go 5 months before the season actually begins,and here's the best part, they can keep a straight face. They actually believe in it so much that it actually has happened in their own minds already. They start carving names in the trophy before the first puck drops. They have no clue what's going to happen, yet they have the stones to debate with you facts that haven't even occured yet. Let me give an example. I recently read an article on B/R that predicted the winner of the Grey cup to be the Saskatchewan Roughriders. Ok, nothing wrong with that, they made it to the final last year,its a good a "guess" as any. But then after he says they will win, he gets all excited at the thought of his team winning the cup, and drinking Pilsner out of it. So excited that he starts explaining, in great detail, exactly what happens in the final game, stats of players at seasons end etc etc. And then when you try to debate with him on his own points,he totally forgets he is in fact 7 months in the past of where he thinks he is, and proceeds to get mad at you for argueing with him. It makes no sense.

It even happens on a national level. Every major sport,at the start of every season, has a panel of "experts" that sit at a table and tell us who is going to win the championships. Going so far as to make up cute sayings like "Lock of the week" or "sure things". They don't know, they may know more about the sport, but you can't tell me they knew all along the Suns would sweep the Spurs, even though they try and act like they did. Because heaven forbid they are help accountable for being wrong. Think about it, if you had a job that involved predicting the future, and you were wrong 80-90% of the time, how long do you think you would have a job? Yet Charles Barkley can sit there and be 100% wrong with his predictions and just quietly sweep the fact he was wrong under the rug,but when he gets lucky and predicts right,now all of a sudden he's the man who called it way before. If you want someone to sit around and make sports predictions, you would think that there would be more gypsies employed by ESPN?

Thats what gets me the most and the whole point behind this article. The guys who as soon as the game ends yell, "See, I totally called it months ago." right in your face, like they knew all along. No you didn't, douchebag. You threw a "guess" out there months ago and it came true, you lucky bastard. Now predict when i'm going to shove you into an outhouse and push it down a hill. Did you call that one months ago too?

So the point I'm trying to make is, you can guess, its fine, its part of sports, everybody does it. But don't act like you know and call it faith in your team or something bogus like that. Let your team do the talking for you, they don't need your help, they want to win it more than you do. I will gurantee that. Now if you excuse me, I "predict" a cold beer in my immediate future. *girlfriend hands me beer*. See! Totally called it.

Until next time