During the 2010 World Cup in South Africa, the United States will make two things clear.
1. They are not the best soccer team in the world.
2. They have by far the hottest collection of fans, WAGs (wives and girlfriends), and celebrities in the world.
While it might take some creative links to soccer to include some of these women, will anyone blame the US for pulling in their big guns?
We should just let the Top 25 list speak for itself.
(Note: Links to soccer, or any sport, are added as bonus points. Female athletes get a boost, and actual WAGs get a huge boost up the list.)
Azie Tesfai, a little-known actress, has been linked with Oguchi Onyewu. The hulking American defender seems to have done nicely for himself.
Any list related to sports and good-looking women is legally required to mention Danica Patrick.
Do I necessarily believe she deserves to be on the same list as many of these beauties?
Sadly, I am prohibited from answering truthfully for fear that I might be persecuted.
While she is not American and her husband, David, is not either, they both made the conscious decision to become Los Angeles celebrities. Due to this move, the USA can claim her as their own.
Little is known about Maurice Edu's girlfriend beyond the fact that she is a part-time model and part-time hairdresser. No word as to where in Scotland Edu found this woman, but he seems happy.
ESPN is putting all of its resources behind this year's World Cup. We can only hope that this means that Erin Andrews might be doing some sideline reporting live in South Africa.
The Kardashian family has a history of sporting achievement. Khloe is married to NBA world champion Lamar Odom. Bruce Jenner has gold medals. Kim dated Super Bowl champion Reggie Bush.
Now that Kim is single, it seems like the only logical move is to look for a World Cup champion, right?
A decorated Olympic swimmer who knows a thing or two about winning competitions. Sam's Army should take note.
Freddy and JoJo. Had a nice ring to it, didn't it? Too bad these two couldn't stay together.
Maybe JoJo knew something we didn't, as Freddy did not make the World Cup roster for the USA.
Back to the drawing board romantically and athletically.
Vonn perfected her soccer skills while in Vancouver this winter for the Olympics.
Which skill was that, you ask? Faking injuries. She did it to perfection.
Wife of American striker Clint Dempsey, Bethany gets bonus points for having the guts to appear in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition in nothing but paint.
Here's to you, Mrs. Dempsey!
Beard received her fair share of criticism for the provocative pictures she has taken during her career, but in the end she backs it up with results.
The American squad has not been lacking in confidence heading into South Africa. Maybe they can pull a Beard and win a few matches.
What does Ashley have to do with soccer?
But she does earn the distinction of being the hottest female American athlete, so she had to be included.
American midfielder Sacha Kljestan’s girlfriend Jamie Lee Darley was the runner-up in this year's Victoria Secret Model Search contest.
In terms of USA soccer WAGS, she is also the runner-up to No. 12. Hey, being runner-up is nothing to be ashamed of—just ask Holland.
Some guys have all the luck. Not only is Landon Donovan the most famous player on the American squad, he also happens to have the hands-down hottest wife on the team. Bianca Kajlich blows away the competition.
It's time for the US to get serious about this "Hottest" contest. No more time for athletes and WAGS—time to dive into the cream of the crop. Time to open this up to real celebrities.
Angelina Jolie needs to be included on this list for the simple fact that she has an adopted child from each of the 32 countries involved in the 2010 World Cup.
Blake Lively is best known for her work on Gossip Girl, which means that she should be more of a fit for the England squad.
Blake, meet John Terry. John Terry, meet Blake.
Christina has gone through plenty of image changes in her career. One could call her the Diego Maradona of pop stars.
Katy Perry was named to the No. 1 spot on the "Maxim Hot 100" this year, so she is a worthy addition to this list.
She is also engaged to Russell Brand, which makes you thinks she would be a fine soccer hooligan.
Scarlett Johansson makes so many bad movies. She is probably committed to play the love interest in an adaptation of the Slovenian team's performance in the World Cup.
Jessica Alba plays the Invisible Woman in the Fantastic Four movies.
Coincidentally, this is also what German fans are calling Michael Ballack.
Beyonce is married to Jay-Z. Jay-Z is currently a minority owner of the New Jersey Nets.
Wouldn't it make sense for him to diversify and put some money into Portsmouth or another side that is in financial trouble?
Is she the most classically beautiful of all the girls on this list? Probably not. But if the American fans needed a spokesperson for their enthusiasm, who would be better than America's Sweetheart?
She is the epitome of all that is good and pure in America.
The sports link for Brooklyn Decker? She is married to the always overrated tennis star Andy Roddick.
The hotness link for Brooklyn Decker? She was the cover girl for this year's Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition.
You decide which is more impressive.
Now that we are inside the top two, we really have to bring out the big guns. These are the woman that would represent the United States in the World Cup of Hot.
Megan Fox is the go-to "We are making a movie and we need an unbelievably gorgeous female lead" kind of girl. Sure, Hollywood goes through these types all the time, but right now Megan Fox is that girl.
She will represent America if No. 1 on this list cannot fulfill her duties.
Why Marisa Miller at No. 1? Let's put her up against the others in the top five.
Why Marisa Miller over Beyonce? Beyonce is known more as an entertainer rather than 100 percent pure attractiveness.
Why Marisa Miller over Taylor Swift? Swift is a cute girl that represents a great portion of the country, but she is not in Miller's league.
Why Marisa Miller over Brooklyn Decker? Miller is who Decker wants to be in a few years.
Why Marisa Miller over Megan Fox? For some reason, Fox turns some people off with her attitude.
Marisa Miller is everything someone could hope for when making a list of hottest WAGs, fans, and celebrities. Congratulations Marisa!