Pacman Jones,Gibril Wilson, Reggie Kelly, Skydiving and Brian Cushing

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Pacman Jones,Gibril Wilson, Reggie Kelly, Skydiving and Brian Cushing
Alright it's time for an all-encompassing post covering the items I have been too busy(Don't laugh too hard) to attack individually.

Pacman:

Leading off is everyone's favorite jackass, Pacman Jones. I don't think anyone actually liked or was shocked by this move. I won't waste time by reviewing his history or spewing my opinions on how morally reprehensible the Bengals are for signing this guy. All I know is from a production point of view, there is no point of view. Before he decided to fight the guy hired to fight people for him in Dallas, he was the third, sometimes fourth corner for Dallas. So where is the value?

The corner position is the deepest position on the Bengals roster and they just added a talented rookie via the draft in Brandon Ghee. So what is the purpose of signing a guy with this amount of baggage who has a good chance of being cut before the season begins? Ultimately it is a low-risk move but the potential reward isn't that great either.

Gibby:

The Gibril Wilson signing is yet another lateral move at the safety position. Since Marvin has been here they have been content with signing middle-of-the-road/declining veterans at safety like Kim Herring, Ifeanyi Ohalete, Dexter Jackson, Chris Crocker or Roy Williams. When Kim Herring was signed I thought he would be a good guy to keep the position warm until they drafted someone. I thought the same with Dexter Jackson, Chris Crocker and Roy Williams. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me half a dozen times and I am a moron.

Wilson will provide depth and more likely be a starter should a strong gust of wind hit Roy Williams and end his season. The guy has won a Super Bowl and had some solid seasons but he's not a difference maker. I'm still left asking when will they invest a high pick or some dough into an above average safety?

Reginald:

After the secondary got a shot of mediocrity in the arm, the Bengals addressed team leadership by resigning Reggie Kelly. Every single player on the team loves Reggie Kelly so having him around can only mean good things. It's move that needed to be done and suddenly the tight end group looks pretty nasty. Assuming Kelly is fully recovered, the Bengals now have a fantastic blocking tight end, the best all-around tight end from the draft and a wild card in Chase Coffman. (I'd like to admit being 100 percent wrong about a post I made last season about Kelly getting hurt being a potentially good thing. Oops.)

So what does this mean for my boy Daniel 'Don't call me Ben' Coats? I imagine he will be battling it out with Chase Coffman and it will ultimately come down to whether you want a guy who can catch or a guy who can block and slap balls intended for him out of the air.

Skydiving:

This has to be the worst idea ever right? I appreciate the charitable effort but with the bad luck this franchise and its fans have endured doesn't this just scream "NOOO!" like Ki-jana Carter's knee? Lets push the one reason the Bengals have been competitive out of a plane, that sounds like a great idea. Steelers fans are probably sitting back and thinking this is the first bit of good news in a year.

Douchey McDoucher aka Houston linebacker Brian Cushing:

I hate this guy. I hate even more that the idiot AP voters decided to reward him the Rookie of the Year a second time after a revote prompted by his positive test for HGC. HGC is only found in a man's body if he has a particularly lethal tumor on his testicles or if he injected it as a masking agent for steroids. Well, Cushing tested positive in September, played extremely well, and appears to be healthy today. If he had a tumor in September it is safe to say he wouldn't have been playing. That leaves one option yet he continues to deny taking any banned substance.

Yesterday Cushing had a press conference and he said he lived in fear during last season that he may have a tumor. Really? All season long? I know if I feared I had a tumor on my jiblets, I'd have some doctors cold hands inspecting them within the hour. Using the potential of cancer as a distraction from the evident cheating he chose to partake in is as pathetic as a Steelers fan writing poetry. Next time you cheat just blame it on the Swine Flu and I'd respect you more.
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