Howard Schnellenberger and the FAU Owls: Time to Put Up or Shut Up

But a closer look at the Owls’ season makes it appear less like the masterpiece Schnellenberger tries to make it out to be.     

For starters, FAU’s “rival” is Florida International, whose football atrocities have already been documented.     

Then there’s the head-to-head matchup with the Gators last year, in which Florida throttled the Owls 59-20. Even against Florida’s porous defense, FAU’s high-powered offense put up zero second-half points.     

Schnellenberger’s boys didn’t exactly come up big against other well-known programs either, losing 45-17 to Kentucky and 42-6 to Oklahoma State.     

However, in a surprisingly close game, the Owls lost 35-23 to a sluggish USF team in a game that was even closer than the score indicated. Regardless, the game still shows up in the L column.     

When you run your mouth about the “Big Seven,” moral victories don’t cut it.      

And while FAU did beat Big-10 rep Minnesota, who didn’t? The Gophers went winless in Big 10 action on their way to a 1-11 season, giving FAU the distinction of beating not one, but two 1-11 teams last year.    

A couple of tough games like that makes the SEC’s highly criticized out-of-conference scheduling look brutal.     

Schnellenberger was also quick to point out that FAU was the only Florida team to win a bowl last season. Perhaps he forgot it was the New Orleans Bowl, and their opponent was 7-6 Memphis, who registered a loss to lowly Ole Miss and got hammered 56-20 by UCF.     

An inch, coach? More like a mile.     

Then, of course, there are the coaching polls, of which Schnellenberger made a mockery at season’s end.     

As if his Big 12 votes weren’t crazy enough—he ranked Kansas No. 2, Missouri at four, and Oklahoma at seven—Schnellenberger voted Hawaii No. 3 (with Georgia back at eight, naturally).   

He also put Southern Cal at No. 12, behind Boston College, West Virginia, and Boise State—and relegated Florida (the same Florida that crushed his team) to No. 21, six spots behind any other coach in the nation.     

Don’t believe me, click here. (And check out Hal Mumme's votes while you're at it.)   

Schnellenberger’s votes aren’t quirky, and they certainly aren’t funny. They’re criminal.     

I’m sure Coach Schnellenberger supporters are out there screaming that the clever coach just likes to ruffle some feathers—that it’s all part of his style. That may be so, but what happened to Coach Schnellenberger’s mojo when reporters brought up his alleged guaranteed win over Texas?     

"I've been quoted as saying we were going to beat Texas," Schnellenberger said. "I was misquoted. I only said that if we work hard and practice to our capabilities, we have a chance to win the game.”   

Backpedaling, anyone?     

There are four games that matter to FAU this season—and they are the first four games of the year.       

As mentioned, the Owls open by heading to Austin. In week two, the Owls face a mediocre Conference-USA team in UAB (2-10 last season) at home, followed by trips to Michigan State and Minnesota.       

So it’s put up or shut, coach. Win two of those games, and no one will pay attention. Three, and we’ll start listening. Win all four, and then you can join the Big Seven.

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