Confessions of a Devout Phoenix Suns Fan

Ravi KrishnanContributor IMay 7, 2010

PHOENIX - MAY 05:  Phoenix Suns fan Isiah Quinonz poses with a 'Los Suns' sign before Game Two of the Western Conference Semifinals of the 2010 NBA Playoffs against the San Antonio Spurs at US Airways Center on May 5, 2010 in Phoenix, Arizona. The team is wearing 'Los Suns' jerseys on Cinco de Mayo in response to an anti-immigration law recently passed in Arizona.  NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement.  (Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images)
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As is possibly the case with any crazy fan of any sports franchise, I am a die-hard Phoenix Suns fanatic and feel vested in, and instrumental to, the success of the team. In this context, I end up doing the wackiest, craziest, strangest things in order to ensure the success of my beloved basketball team.

In no particular order, here are the eight dorky quirks of my life as a Suns fan:

1. I DVR the game so that I watch 20 minutes behind live action. Why? I have no idea, but I just get the sense that if the game looks to be going out of hand, I can at least fast-forward the misery.

2. I mute-out opponents' shot attempts during the last two minutes of every quarter. Again, this sounds, and probably is, illogical, but I feel if I mute-out the shot attempt, the shot's not going in! The reason to do this only in the last two minutes—I want to use this like teams use fouls. It only works a finite number of times, not every time, so I like to do this only during crunch time of every quarter.

3. No moving from where/how I am sitting from start to finish. Fairly self-explanatory, this one. Also, this one is probably quite common, as I have heard a few of my friends do something similar as homage to their favorite teams.

4. Being really nice and sweet to wife and kids prior to, and during, the game. Obviously, I would like to think that I am nice to my family all the time. But this "sweetness" reaches an altogether different apogee on game days, as I cater to every one of their needs and desires.

Affection flows out in tons, with the hope that all the brownie points being accumulated will result in my wish (Suns win) being fulfilled through some cosmic intervention!!

5. I fast-forward free throw attempts by Nash. So much keeps getting said about Nash being "automatic" from the stripe that (1) I am sick and tired of hearing that, and (2), it appears that commentators do a rather good job of jinxing his accuracy—every time Doug Collins says Nash is 96 percent on FT attempts, Nash ends up missing one !

My solution: fast-forward his attempts. This has worked throughout the Blazers and Spur series thus far!

6. I play a simulated 1-on-1 game at home the morning of the game, and project that night's result based on the result of my simulated game. There is a sincere attempt to being objective during my simulated game. Again, in regards to recent track record, the Suns have won every time yours truly has won his simulated version that morning.

7. I make it a point to watch (start-to-finish) recording of the previous game won by the Suns. This really gets my energy and adrenalin juiced up, to the point that I am on a high by the time tip-off occurs that night.

8. As a must-do, I high-five my kids every time the Suns hit a three. To me, failure to do that once during the game will jinx all the subsequent three-point attempts. So Game Two against the Spurs involved 18 high-fives (one-per-made-three-pointer-per-kid).

Please disregard this piece if it makes no sense and is utterly idiotic from your standpoint. In the slimmest of chances that that is not the case, I would love to hear from folks to whom this strikes a chord (even if it makes no sense!); because as I see it, part of being a sports fan is to craft a universe of idiosyncrasy and whims, all of which is geared to somehow drive/contribute to victory.