I consider myself a student of history. I enjoy watching trends, and I enjoy using those trends to predict what could happen in the future. Given that propensity, I did some looking back on the last few professional sports championships (hockey excluded), and found out that all the champions and Finals MVPs had something in common.
This lead me to a foolproof way that the Dallas Mavericks can win a title and Dirk can win a Finals MVP: Dirk needs to get engaged. Sound foolish? Of course it does, but hear me out. Let us start with the 2007 NBA Champion Spurs. Tony Parker, your MVP, was engaged to Eva Longoria, and got married a month or two after the Finals.
Then we'll move on to the 2007 Boston Red Sox. While Mike Lowell is already married, Kevin Youkilis was engaged to some hot woman, and he was a crucial part of the World Series win. Super Bowl XLII MVP Eli Manning was also engaged, and got married within a few months of the Super Bowl.
Fast forward to this year: Paul Pierce is engaged to some hottie, and he got Finals MVP. He'll probably be married by the end of summer, and he's got a ring and a trophy as a wedding gift, much like Parker, Youkilis, Eli.
Now it's Dirk's turn. Obviously, I don't know his relationship status, but with Tony Romo unavailable, Dirk should be the No. 1 bachelor in the Dallas/Fort Worth area. You're telling me the Dirkster can't find some floozy to be engaged to, then break it off after they win the Finals?
The sporting gods would never know until it’s too late, because after all, you can't take away a championship.