Boston Bruins: God I hate the Bruins. kjfdaskjklajALKSJAjklfasjdfa!!!! Buffalo was in all likelihood, the easiest team you could possibly draw in the first round, and guess who got to play them! If that was not bad enough, CBC nipped us in Montreal by showing them play Buffalo! Who wants to watch the shitty Bruins play the boring Sabres? The only positive that came out of that whole ordeal is that we avoided hockey philosophy 101, taught by none other than Mr. Ron MacLean.
Detroit Red Wings: NO! No no no no! Why won’t this team just die? Hockey fans are sick of you and your well kept beards, and your stanley cups, and your strange player names (Abdelkader, Filppula). Nobody likes the Red Wings anymore! The Red Wings were only cool when Stevey Y played there, now it’s just a “please go away” mentality from hockey fans. I say if the Red Wings can throw octopi on the ice, then I am hereby issuing a challenge to Sharks fans. During the first round #throwthesnake became an instant twitter topic, now for the second round, I want sharks fans to start a #throwtheshark campaign. All I’m asking for is dead snakes on the ice in San Jose, is that really too much to ask for?
Philadelphia Flyers: If the Flyers are capable of making it past the second round, and perhaps take the cup (yeah, right), then they may be immortalized as the ugliest team to ever raise lord stanley. This is all thanks in part to such men as Briere, Carcillo, Cote, Hartnell, Leino, etc. Everyone, shed a tear for puck bunnies in Philly.
Vancouver Canucks: If I counted correctly, there are 16 Canadians, 6 Swedes, 2 Americans, and a Slovakian in a pear tree on the Canucks roster. Of course, Pavol Demitra wouldn’t have ended up in that pear tree, if he had not gone to that kick ass party with Shane O’Brien the night before.
Pittsburgh Penguins: Every time the Pens scored against the Sens in the first round, Gary Bettman’s pants dropped around his ankles. When Crosby scored, whoa look out! When the OT winner went in during game 6, Gary ran around his house in the nude, screaming something about ratings, and NBC, and “swimming in the money”.
Chicago Blackhawks: Lets face it, there is a curse that is shadowing over the Blackhawks post season run. Over the past couple of seasons, if your team is associated with this individual in anyway, then extremely bad things will happen, and a championship is most certainly out of the question. What I’m referring to is clearly the “Madden Curse”.....oh......not the same guy? Well how about Marian Hossa then? Perfect.
I'll be posting more on the Habs before the Friday night game in Pittsburgh.
Until then, keep up with my tweets, and party hard folks, you deserve it.