Twitter is a well-known form of social media. For those who are not aware why anyone would use such a medium, you haven’t been paying attention to the way the application has evolved over the last couple of years.
For one, Twitter is not just a place to share the mundane details of your life (although there is a fair share of that going on), but rather a means of both disseminating and learning new information—many times before it hits the AP Wire.
How does it work? Well, that’s simple:
1. Create an account. You can do so here.
2. Use the search feature to find people/organizations/teams to follow.
3. Look for the tweets of those you’ve chosen and share some tweets of your own. A tweet is the Twitter terminology for sharing an update on what you are doing or some interesting info you have heard.
That said, there are a fair share of college coaches have used Twitter as a way of connecting with their fan base.
Some coaches tweet a lot. Former USC coach Pete Carroll is a veteran tweeter. Others seldom do so without a specific purpose—Georgia coach Mark Richt is a selective tweeter. Either way, it’s entertaining to see their tweets.
With that in mind, here are 10 college football coaches I would love to see tweeting. For fun, I’ve even included what they would tweet to the masses.
This is meant to be slightly humorous, and no disrespect is intended.
The names that precede the colon are user name suggestions for each coach, and for those who are interested, my Twitter account can be found here—feel free to follow me if you like.
Now, on with the show...
Joe Pa has prided himself on being against technology. He’s not interested in social media in any form and isn’t planning to join the Twitter ranks anytime soon. Last I heard, he still doesn’t even own a cell phone.
However, if he did ever decide to give Twitter a shot, I imagine his initial tweets would read as follows:
JoePaGlasses: How do you work this darn thing?
JoePaGlasses: Does anyone hear me? Is this like an iPhone? Whatever that’s supposed to be.
JoePaGlasses: This is supposed to be like email, right? Where’s the send button? Wait, how do I send an email again? Ah fooey, what a waste of time— Jay.
JoePaGlasses: How am I supposed to tweet, twit, or whatever it is if I can’t figure out how to work this darn thing. Plus, can anyone tell me why I keep getting cut off when I try to finish a
JoePaGlasses: Tweedle dee, tweedle dum, tweet, twit...oh I quit. I can’t see these small letters anyhow. Where are my glasses, Sue?
Spurrier is a character, and back when he was tormenting the SEC as the head coach at Florida, he was always good for a quick sound bite.
Who can forget his reference to FSU as "Free Shoes University" or that you can’t spell "Citrus without UT?" He was always good for a laugh.
That’s precisely why he would be perfect for Twitter:
NeedAGolfBuddy: I need a new visor, 10 bucks to the first fan who finds me one. $20 if they snag it from Urban Meyer.
NeedAGolfBuddy: I’d love to have a quarterback I can depend on. I’d love it even more if he was on my team this season. Are you listening Stephen?
NeedAGolfBuddy: South Carolina is a great place to play golf. Way better than Washington, where they kept trying to get me to work more than play—silly Dan Snyder.
NeedAGolfBuddy: How about that Urban Meyer, threatening poor beat writers? I guess you can’t spell “strung out” without U-R.
NeedAGolfBuddy: I’m getting too old for this. I left all that money on the table to come to Columbia? Well, at least I’ll have Social Security—I am eligible, right? I need new clubs.
It’s a good thing coach Kelly didn’t have a Twitter account at the time he suspended Jeremiah Masoli. Can you imagine the comments and questions that might have come his way?
Still, perhaps if he did have an account, he might have known what his players were doing before anyone else found out.
Even so, it would still be pretty cool to see what he might tweet about now that he’s in the midst of finding his 2011 quarterback:
EugeneAttorneyNeeded: Nate Costa and Darron Thomas need to get better. I don’t know if either is ready to be the guy yet. Why did I suspend Masoli again?
EugeneAttorneyNeeded: I know one thing—if I see one more uniformed official coming this way, I’m running away as fast as LaMichael James can carry me.
EugeneAttorneyNeeded: Charlie Weis and Brian Kelly don’t have nothing on me. I know offense too, gosh darn it.
EugeneAttorneyNeeded: I suppose we should be worried about USC. Is Lane Kiffin really their new coach—well then—never mind.
EugeneAttorneyNeeded: It’s been a good day. No one else has been arrested, and the D.A. has finally taken me off speed dial. Go Ducks!
Coach Shannon seems to have this aura around him that gives the impression that he a) has no sense of humor, and b) doesn’t take any crap off anyone.
It’s a frightening combination that leads many to the conclusion that he needs to be left alone in Miami.
However, I think he has a lighter side, and his on-field persona is just a facade created to scare the pants off those who dare to cross him:
CandyCaneLover: I’m tired of all the haters trying to bring me down, I got this, the Canes are back and it’s all because of me—haha!
CandyCaneLover: If I get one more question about Graig Cooper, I swear.
CandyCaneLover: "Show Me The Money." How am I supposed to get things done with these negotiations hanging over my head? Just kidding, Kirby.
CandyCaneLover: Why am I making less than the guy at Duke, what’s his name again, SMH (scratching my head).
CandyCaneLover: I know what Canes fans want. I’m gonna get it done...now, can I get a left tackle to protect Jacory Harris, please?
Coach Patterson seems to be a likable guy with a great deal of perspective on both the BCS and his team’s chances as a contender for the national title.
He quietly has built quite a program in Fort Worth and continues to churn out pro prospects each year. His team may very well be the 2010 darlings of the Mountain West but Coach Patterson isn’t one to rest on his laurels, despite the praise:
FeelingFroggy: Coach Kyle Whittingham is trying to "punk" me with his accolades. I’m having none of that.
FeelingFroggy: People keep wondering how we will replace our defense...why? Don’t they know we simply reload here at TCU?
FeelingFroggy: Keep Tank (Carder) in your thoughts. He’s definitely leading the 2010 charge on defense next season.
FeelingFroggy: People are always asking why I move some of my best offensive players to defense. Well, I say, why the heck not?!? It works.
FeelingFroggy: Here’s to another banner year for the Horned Frogs and a loss for Boise State—I kid.
Despite the fact that Coach Johnson always looks like he has a bit of a chip on his shoulder, the guy has proven that his triple option is a force to be reckoned with in the ACC, and this offseason he has made moves to make sure his defense is every bit as potent.
If he succeeds, then the ACC won’t be the only conference that needs to take notice.
EatMyStinger: I’m still surprised that Jon (Dwyer) went so low. Those teams that passed him over will be sorry. Mark my words.
EatMyStinger: Don’t worry about the 3-4 at Tech, we have this thing under control—I’ll get these guys on the right track or there will be lots of pain in their future.
EatMyStinger: People are still doubting the triple-option? Shoot, we can’t win every game. A loss is no indictment on our ability to win football games—period!
EatMyStinger: SHOTGUN!! The triple-option isn't all we know here at GT—wink, wink.
EatMyStinger: Replacing guys is always hard, but I ain’t the only coach who’s got guys to replace. Stop the madness.
I don’t know if Coach Gundy ever wants to make the move to Twitter, but I certainly wish he would.
He’s obviously got a lot of passion for the game and a flair for the dramatic: two things that, in the Twitterverse, make for some interesting conversation.
WhoDaMan: It was nice to see the Cowboys represented well in the Draft. Good luck to our guys on the next level.
WhoDaMan: Am I scared of the new regime in Lubbock? Shoot no, I’m a man...I’m...wait, how old am I?
WhoDaMan: Why is anyone surprised that we would let Mike Leach share some pointers on his offense? Who better to ask than the guy who ran it?
WhoDaMan: The cupboards aren't bare in Stillwater. There’s plenty of talent that's ready to play. I’ll let you know when I find it.
WhoDaMan: Dana is gonna do just fine here. Y'all are gonna be amazed at how much better this offense will look next season. At least that’s what I keep telling myself—just kidding.
Wannstedt is a football guy. That’s not to say he is something that the other coaches on this list aren’t, but he’s old-school. He knows the game, and he’s not interested in the other niceties that come with the title of "coach." That makes him an effective leader and a darn good football coach.
It also makes him the kind of guy who it might be fun to get inside the head of on game day and otherwise.
CoachW: This is the year we will bring it all together. Where are all my Pitt fans?...No, really, where are you?
CoachW: These guys have worked hard this spring, and they are ready to play some football. Well, Dion Lewis is ready—thank goodness.
CoachW: Pitt is home. I’m not going anywhere as long as Pitt wants me—bank on it.
CoachW: Football. That is all.
CoachW: My goal for this season is simple: win football games. The rest will take care of itself, or they'll fire me—ha!
A lot of people don’t remember much about the legendary Spike Dykes, the father of Sonny. He brought Red Raider football to its pinnacle in the '90s and wrote the book Spike Dykes' Tales from the Texas Tech Sidelines.
Even more, he was always good for a sound bite or two, as he was such a straight shooter.
His son may not fall too far from that tree as he starts to blaze his own trail at Louisiana Tech.
SpikesSpawn: Enjoying life as a head coach in Louisiana. Nothing sweeter than this right here.
SpikesSpawn: Our spring game wasn’t too bad on offense...the defense was another story, but we’ll get it together.
SpikesSpawn: The offensive installment is going all right, and as soon as we find a few more players to execute it, it’ll be even better.
SpikesSpawn: People ask me if it will be difficult to recruit at LaTech. Well, shoot, it’s difficult to recruit everywhere unless you're Alabama or USC—right?
SpikesSpawn: Am I worried about my first season in the WAC? No. Why should I be? Boise State is the favorite, and they aren’t expecting much from us. I’d say we’re in great position.
Stoops has got to be the man that people love to hate. For years his Sooners were granted the opportunity to play in a BCS game, and for years his team has left on the losing end of the affair.
Those losses, coupled with other perceived injustices, have made Stoops the target of fans' ire—both in and out of the Big 12.
For his part, Stoops continues to plug away and remain competitive within his conference. On any given year, Texas is still his biggest hurdle, and now that Colt McCoy is out of Austin, he may not have a hurdle big enough to keep him away from another Big 12 title.
DontBeStoopid: People are always so quick to discount the Sooners, why? What are you basing our impending failure on? We deserve to be Top 10—yearly.
DontBeStoopid: Landry Jones doesn’t have to be Sam Bradford to succeed at Oklahoma. He’ll do just fine by just being Landry.
DontBeStoopid: The guys that come to Oklahoma are great players. Check the NFL for verification—see what you come back with.
DontBeStoopid: Our defense is coming along. It’s early and some guys are still growing, but we are going to be competitive. We always are.
DontBeStoopid: At Oklahoma we don’t have to trick you, we are who you think we are. If you can beat that, fine, but I’m always betting on the Sooners.