To college football what the Dallas Cowboys are to the NFL, Notre Dame is a national brand, and not even an inferior product on the field can diminish its luster.
In fact, often times fans and media across the country are so enamored with the Irish that they become wildly disillusioned to how mediocre the team really is.
Exhibit A would be 2009, when the Irish spent the season as the most publicized .500 team in college football history.
There are bound to be plenty of delusions when it comes to the strength of the Notre Dame program in 2010, beginning with outrageous preseason predictions of the Irish securing a BCS appearance. What’s worse, with each win those delusions will only grow stronger.
Western Michigan and Tulsa should be considered for-sure wins. I suppose you have to figure the Irish will be able to squeeze out victories over Purdue and maybe Utah. And I would be remiss in leaving out the fact that ND doesn’t play a true road game between Oct. 2 and Nov. 27.
But we are used to this. As such, don’t be surprised if a 4-3 Irish team somehow receives Top 25 votes in mid-October. Like I said, delusions.
But, with the help of a little social experiment, you can create some delusions of your own this college football season, and maybe surpass those created by Notre Dame.
All you have to do is drink, fornicate, and endure what my friends and I used to refer to in college as a “no pride” night.
Every time Notre Dame wins this season, attend a party and drink — a lot. The more you drink, the more reality becomes distorted, and the more each unattractive girl in attendance will look more like Brooklyn Decker.
From there, proceed to take a lucky woman home (with some help from a taxi, of course) for the remainder of the evening. With any luck at all, when you wake up, she’ll be a “2,” and not the “10” you won over with your bloated impression of The Situation just a few hours earlier.
The larger and more traumatic the shock, and more regrettable the hookup, the better.