Dusty Baker, Office Manager: My "True" Story

I dutifully marched into his office, half expecting, or hoping, for some kind of recognition for being all of eight minutes early. I sat down beside a young looking African-American gentleman, and Dusty seated himself in his throne, opposite each of us. For the first time, he wasn't wearing glasses.

"I appreciate your work, here. You've been doing good," he stated. I cringed. The guy next to me looked like a bigger, stronger version of me. He even had better clothes on.

"But I feel its time we tried someone else in your spot," he said as he nodded towards the young man next to me. "I think Corey is more of what we're looking for."

Yes, that Corey. "You're replacing me with Corey Patterson!?"

"Calm down, son. This is part of the game. Corey can bring some speed and hustle to this team," he trailed off. I must've looked like I was about to interject, which I was. I just couldn't find the words. He was replacing me with a guy who held a career .293 on-base percentage.

I stared at Dusty wide-eyed for some time before standing up and excusing myself from his office. I began to pack up my things: my iPod, my JaMarcus Russel bobble-head doll, the photo of me with Mark McGwire with a Jason Giambi head taped on top, and a Miguel Tejada on top of that, with a Nick Swisher on top of that, and a Billy Beane on top of that.

I saw Corey's things in a box next to the computer tower on the floor. There was something shiny there, so I glanced over my shoulder before snooping through. It was a baseball trophy, with the following inscribed: Most Sacrifice Hits: 2007. My stomach sank.

I picked up my things and started towards the door. On the way out, I passed by Corey Patterson, attempting to train himself on how to make coffee. I paused, then turned back to ask him something.

"Corey...why would you leave the Reds to come work here? Is Dusty Baker that great?"

"No," he said, without looking up from his mess of ground and filters. "But I was out of a job—Dusty's the only one who will ever hire me."

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