The Internet Wrestling Community Takes Over Writing for WWE
Believe me, I know this will amuse some of you, and piss off those who believe they know it all about wrestling and feel they should be writing the scripts.
There is a reason why some people write and others criticize.
Some of the stuff on WWE television I do not like, but honestly, there was stuff during the Attitude Era, Golden Era, and Next Generation Era I despised, but I take the good with the bad.
I get upset when my favorite sports team does a stupid play or drafts a certain player, but unless my paycheck is signed by the team, then I can only sit back and complain.
But I know, there is a reason I am in my career and those guys are in their career.
This is a sarcastic look at what happens when the Internet Wrestling Community takes over WWE.
I do not claim to be a part of the IWC or claim to be the most talented writer or the most knowing of all the wrestling writers.
I just try and call them the way I see them. I do not try and come across to any reader as an over educated wrestling genius by throwing out industry terms, acting like I am an insider.
As most who have read my columns, articles, and slide shows, I try to stay away from being a writer who uses inside wrestling terms as though I have been on the inside for years.
Please enjoy the next few slides of sarcasm.
John Morrison wins World Title
John Morrison finally wins the World title, defeating HHH in a Loser Leaves WWE match.
HHH does not leave WWE; he is stripped of all backstage power and is to never again appear on television.
Dolph Ziggler wins World title
Dolph Ziggler wins the WWE title from John Cena. The belt is changed to a more traditional-looking title.
World and WWE title Unified
Dolph and John meet at WrestleMania in the Internet community's most hyped main event ever.
Match does not even come close to delivering. 25 minutes of spectacular high dives and choreographed move set to make this WrestleMania Main Event look like a very bad Van Damme movie.
The match ends with Morrison winning.
Morrison loses the belt
A week after the over hyped WrestleMania bout, many on the message boards start complaining John Morrison has held the belt way too long and is hogging the spotlight and he will not let anyone else look as good as him.
Other rumblings include Morrison's lack of charisma, lack of talent, and lack of microphone skills.
Morrison is put back on the mid card, where he belongs.
Orton wins the Unified title
Morrison loses the belt to IWC favorite Randy Orton on the following weeks Raw after WrestleMania.
But since Orton has gained many fans in the arena, he is losing favored status with the IWC. In the infinite wisdom of the IWC, Randy is going to be used now as the guy who puts over other favorites of the IWC.
After Randy wins a 10 minute match, Christian cashes in his Money in the Bank contract and wins the belt. But since Christian has held World titles in the past (ECW & TNA), the IWC feels he cannot hold the belt long.
Shelton wins the title
"Aint no Stopping me."
The music blares and out runs Shelton Benjamin. Since he has absolutely no public speaking skills, Vince McMahon comes out and states since Shelton did some work for him, he owes Benjamin a title shot.
Benjamin is able sneak behind Christian and we have a new WWE Champion.
Hmmm....Crowds seem to be getting smaller
Besides the main world title story, other angles are starting to keep the crowds away.
Suddenly, the jam packed arenas are now half filled high school gymnasiums. The reason the writers give is because they want to get closer to the fans.
The reason for low fan following. Believe it or not John Cena, Batista, the eye candy divas, and HHH are very, very popular with the fans, just not with the IWC.
The other IWC darlings are popular, but nowhere near the popularity of the aforementioned.
In addition, HBK has stayed happily retired and the Undertaker has decided to retire after the IWC needed him to lose the streak at WrestleMania to a deserving Drew McIntyre.
The move to give McIntyre the streak buster backfires as instead of pushing the young wrestler, the fans have serious backlash against him. McIntyre has a nervous breakdown and is never heard from again.
Who is on First???
The IWC cannot decide who gets the belt. The IWC does not want the belt to be left on one guy too long because the belt needs to keep moving to have new superstars. In addition, no wrestler can gather too much of a fan base nor gain too much leverage.
The IC title has already lost so much recognition and prestige after being exchanged 150 times between all the NXT roster and other selected IWC darlings, the belt is of lesser value than 7-11 coffee.
The IWC sees the dwindling crowds and begs HHH or Batista to come back and bring some prestige to the belt.
HHH is happy in the acting portion of WWE and Batista is sitting out his contract in protest after being made to lose to Benjamin, Morrison, Guerrero, Hardy, Beth, Maryse, Mickey, and Santino in a four-week period.
Keep the belt moving
Within a 9 month period, just about every superstar, who is deemed worthy by the IWC holds the World title.
Many reigns to not last past the show as the attention span of the IWC is very small and no wrestler should keep the strap and become too powerful or have a huge fan following.
Some examples of reigns:
Benjamin loses the belt to Ziggler on Raw
Ziggler loses the belt back to Shelton before the end of Raw
Orton wins the belt on Smackdown
Jack is back as Swagger wins at the PPV
Edge wins a month later at Smackdown
Morrison is back as he defeats Edge at Raw
DiBiase buys a title shot and beats Morrison on the next Raw
Cody gets a shot and wins at the PPV
Goldust causes Cody to lose the belt to Daniel Otunga
Bryan Danielson wins the strap at SmackDown
Jericho wins back the title on Raw but loses it five minutes later to....
Christian who loses to MVP
MVP loses to Mark Henry (hahaha, just kidding, the IWC hates him)
MVP actually keeps the belt for 14 days before losing it to....
R-Truth then the Rock comes out and endorses......
TNA and says the WWE sucks...and leaves to never come back!!!!
WWE wrestling closes.....
With HHH in movies, Batista letting his contract expire, HBK and Undertaker retired, and the wrestling fans not really getting into the NEW and IMPROVED IWC WWE, Vince decides to concentrate all financial backing to the WWE movie studio, where some decent writing is still being performed.
Vince decides to sell all wrestling assets to TNA. Dixie Carter and company are able to get the belts for a six pack of Pabst, since the belts are pretty useless, but give Vince a six pack out of respect.
TNA decides to let all the IWC darling sit out their contracts and do not hire any of the IWC writers for TNA's creative department.
TNA has been having sellouts around the country since signing away the vastly popular John Cena and are requesting Batista join as soon as possible.