The All-Motorsport Power Rankings: No. 59
Mother Nature is pissed!!
Long term readers will remember (unless you have somehow trained your goldfish to surf the internet) that the Power Rankings refuse to recognise the role played in our sport by mother nature, even when she moves entire races by days.
This week, however, she made a pretty good case for inclusion, clearly annoyed at being passed over too many times, sending us in Europe a giant ash cloud from the Eyjafjallajokull Volcano in Iceland.
Sadly for Mother Nature she couldn't get me - I'm not important or rich enough to be in Shanghai (or anywhere else you need to fly to) - but she did here best to wreak havoc on Motorsport.
She left the F1 circus in China, facing the luminaries with an incredible journey home. She's already managed to cancel the Moto GP in Japan which was meant to be this weekend and has plunged a number of other series into a state of disorganistion.
But, have I caved in and awarded her top spot in the Rankings?
15. Gerardo Bonilla (ALMS)
Is this the most embarrassing accident of the year so far?
14. Sebastien Buemi (F1)
A bad week to be Swiss....
First Buemi finds the button Toro Rosso are using to speed up their pitstops at the wrong moment.
Then Natacha Gachnang (Buemi’s cousin) finds exactly the wrong moment to get her feet mixed up and not brake, unless you count her leg
13. Kimi Raikkonen (WRC)
He finished in the top 5 (five).
Rally isn’t nearly as interesting when you can’t on Kimi for a healthy dollop of ineptitude
12. Michael Schumacher (F1)
To quote the BBC Radio commentary as Schumacher was ebbing backwards through the Chinese GP field.
“The urchins are mobbing Fagan!”
11. Dale Earnhardt Jr. (NASCAR)
The End Is Nigh!
If huge volcanic ash clouds and people moaning about having extra holiday wasn’t a sign of the impending apocolpyse, the surely Dale Jr. leading on a track you don’t just mash your foot into the bulkhead is.
10. Jeff Gordon (NASCAR)
I’ve never, ever, ever been a Jeff Gordon fan.
9. Jamie Whincup (V8 Supercars)
Two races, two wins.
So the ringer’s out the car, and Jamie’s back in.
8. Romain Grosjean (GT1 WC (WC does not mean toilet))
First weekend in the Ford GT, and he’s two seconds faster than anyone else.
You’d have thought he’d been in F1 or something, oh wait.
7. Sebastien Loeb (WRC)
When a still picture is the best thing about an event, you know it’s rallying.
6. Simon Pagenaud (ALMS)
Shameful. You shouldn’t mug old people!
Even Pagenaud admits Fernandez is old.
Watch the final lap here - a great advert for the ALMS.
5. Ryan Hunter-Reay (Indycar)
It’s good to see Owen Wilson is has slipped so easily into Paul Newman’s racer/actor mould.
4. Lewis Hamilton (F1)
Now, I’m not cynical* but...........
*I am. Very.
3. Denny Hamlin (NASCAR)
Two weeks after having fairly major surgery on his knee Denny wins a race on a Monday.
Women, if your man is a NASCAR fan you’re going to have to think up a better excuse that “I’ve got a headache.”
2. Jenson Button (F1)
Button reveals F1 drivers have the memory of goldfish.
“This was my best victory in Formula 1. Every race you win becomes your best.”
1. Ross Brawn (Volcanic GP)
Yes, an illustrious entry list for an endurance event of epic proportions there really was only one really big race this week.
Though the stewards are looking into whether Ross’ use of his own car was legal.
Find out what the hell I’m on about here.