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Beer Pong: How Good Are You?

By (Senior Analyst) on April 19, 2010

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It may be the most widely played sport among middle aged drinking Americans. It's official name is Beruit, but we all know it affectionately as Beer Pong.

You all know how to play it, you all know the ground rules.

Sink it, drink it, embarrass the opposition. Whatever the house rules are, making the cups is all that matters.

I've been around Beer Pong a long time, and it has no equal in providing fun, drama, and heroes, simply by racking cups into a triangle.

As far as I know, this is the first Beer Pong article on Bleacher Report, so I am curious to see how "the brutal game" will be received.

Anyway, I have created a list of different levels of skill you encounter when you play. Starting from least "talented" to most talented.

I also include the first Beer Pong statistics, Average Cups Per Game. The ACPG is based on a 10-cup rack (as seen above). I am not taking into account partner cups made.

6. Really Suck

Beer_pong1_display_image

Eyes on the cups.

You know who you are.

We know who you are

This player sucks so much they throw a party when they make one cup.

Now, I know not everybody plays very often, so you will find casual players right around here. There is nothing wrong with being this bad at Beer Pong, until your game starts taking an hour because you can't make a cup.

ACPG (Average Cups Per Game): 1-3

5. Just Suck

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Is there a difference between really sucking at something, and just sucking at something?

In Beer Pong, yes.

When you just suck, you know you aren't good, and most of the time you are playing with the hope that you'll unleash some hidden cup sinking power, only to be met with disappointment.

However, what separates people who really suck and people who just suck, is that hope.

And who knows, after a few beers this lowly journeyman may just stay on the table for a couple games.

ACPG: 2-4

4. Good Enough To Win

Large_beerpong_010508_display_image

This is the toughest level of skill to judge.

Even people in the bottom two levels win games every now and then, but when you are good enough to win, it usually means you have confidence when you have that little ping pong ball in your fingers.

Your skill is high enough to where you are usually not detrimental to your team, but low enough so that one bad looking rack (You know, Islands and stuff) and a few too many drinks can send you right back down to Just Suck.

This is the level where you will find most Beer Pong players. If you have to try and convince somebody you are Good Enough to Win, you probably just suck.

ACPG: 4-7

3. Just Good

Beerpong2_display_image

Now we have entered some serious Pong skill territory. Being just good isn't as simple as consistently winning, or having an occasional night where you are on.

No, being just good means you have to take the game seriously. Every shot is aimed carefully and every miss is a small slap in your face.

This is the group with the most amount of frauds. Everyone likes to think they are Just Good at Beer Pong, odds are you are only Good Enough To Win.

Just Good is beyond beginners luck, beyond being carried by your teammate, beyond having respect.

ACPG: 5-8

Being Just Good means you expect to win every game, even though you know you've got a long way to go before you are...

2. Awesome

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Stop kidding yourself, you are not awesome. Unless you have ever won money playing a game of Beer Pong, you don't even have a case of being awesome

Hell, there are people who compete at the World Series of Beer Pong who are barely at this level.

How do you know if you are awesome?

Simple, you sink what you aim for. You don't "accidentally" sink the cup in the back. No, you know where the ball is going, and that "dink" sound is what you live for.

Usually you go on strings of 3-4 cups in a row, any less is considered failure.

People don't even pick you up as a partner, as you and your buddy practice daily to run tables on the weekend.

ACPG: 6-10

1. Scary

Beer-pong-small_display_image

I am not even sure if there is a formula to reach this level.

Luck? Has nothing to do with it.

Practice? You need that just to become Awesome.

Experience? Key, but still, there are people who have played for years and they are only Good Enough To Win.

No, to be Scary, you have God-Given talent and ice in your veins. You have a perfect delivery that is identical to every shot you have taken, and will take for the rest of your life.

You don't talk smack, you don't distract. You step up, sink your shot, wait for the balls back roll, and do it again. You shake hands after the game, and celebrate with your teammate with a good high five.

You are the rare case of more games won than actual missed shots.

These people exist, I pray you are never staring down Scary players from the other side of the table.

ACPG: 8-10

Most Importantly, It is a team game.

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Beer Pong is a team game. Unless you are Awesome or Scary, you need a decent teammate if you want to come out victorious.

Pictured is the team Smashing Time, the two-time defending World Beer Pong Champions.

As I am sure they are both beyond Scary, neither could win without the other,

Remember, play fair, be a good sport, and drink 'em when they sink 'em!

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