NFL-Pats-Colts-017.jpg&c=1&w=525&cs=1">NFL-Pats-Colts-017.jpg&c=1&w=525&cs=1" style="margin: 0px 8px 8px 0pt; float: left;">Anyone out there surprised that Barry Bonds was indicted?
If so, I envy the warmth of the cocoon you must be living in.
I pray that Bill Simmons doesn't speak for the common Patriots fan.
Simmons' latest line is that if the Pats do lose a game, it'll be because of poor officiating, or because Roger Goodell doesn't want them to go undefeated.
I'd like to believe he was just doing a bit—but I think he was actually serious.
If there was any doubt that Simmons is a whiny Boston homer, his latest bitch settles it. The Sports Guy has no more credibility than the Liver—and at least the Liver isn't afraid to criticize his team.
Speaking of blaming the refs, anyone catch Mike Leach’s tirade against the Big 12 officials?
The Texas Tech coach basically accused the refs of fixing the game—and was hit with a $10,000 fine and no suspension. Congratulations to the Big 12 administration for showing solidarity.
Much like Vincent Hanna, “I am over-fucking-whelmed” by such swift, decisive action.
Beware the roads this holiday season. Thanksgiving and Christmas are amateur hour for the sorts of minor league drunks who should stick to A-ball and keg parties.
Only Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Kiefer Sutherland, Mike Leach, Bill Belichick, Bill Simmons, Roger Goodell, and Travis Henry's nine kids and nine mommas would be drunk enough to question the Esteemed Liver's picks.
Last week's record: 5-8-1
2007 record against the spread: 64-72-8
Anyone who wants to criticize the Liver’s record...this past weekend sucked, I agree.
Remember, as Indiana Jones said, “I’m making this up as I go along.”
Sunday, November 18
Oakland (+5 1⁄2) at Minnesota
No Adrian Peterson, you say? I sense Dante Culpepper preparing the revenge TD dance.
I’m sure there’s no bad blood between him and Brad Childress anymore.
Come to think of it, this might be a fun game to watch for a quarter or two, considering Culpepper is getting the start against his former team.
Miami (+10) at Philadelphia
Miami’s season was over before it began, but at least the Fins'll get to see what QB John Beck can do.
I hope Philly fans enjoy the rest of the regular season, because the playoffs are a LONG shot and Donovan McNabb is likely gone after it’s over.
Then all you’ll have is Kevin Kolb to boo.
San Diego (+3) at Jacksonville
It isn’t often you treat a win as a loss, but that’s exactly what the Chargers should be doing after BARELY hanging on against the Colts.
The San Diego offense is awful, and Philip Rivers has clearly regressed. The QB isn’t likely to improve against a stout Jags defense.
That said, the Jags offense isn’t exactly a juggernaut either—even if David Garrard returns.
Pick: San Diego
Cleveland at Baltimore (+3)
Please Baltimore, I’m begging you...
Ah, who am I kidding? Have you seen that train wreck lately?
Kyle Boller is starting at QB, which means Steve McNair is done. Is it just me or does McNair have that Jack Rooney body language that tells you he’s taken way too many hits?
I can see Cameron Diaz bursting into the Ravens locker room at halftime and declaring to Brian Billick, “Steve is finished.”
Unfortunately, Boller is no Willie Beamen.
New Orleans (+1) at Houston
Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water...New Orleans plays like a fish out of it and loses to the winless Rams.
With the exception of the Lions, there's no more Dana Barrett-like NFC team than the Saints.
Can’t you just see Sean Payton thinking to himself, “There is no Dana only Zeul?”
Luckily for the Saints, they play in one of the worst divisions in football...and a 9-7 record could conceivably be good enough for first place
This will be the first time since Week Two that Matt Schaub, Andre Johnson, and Ahman Green will be on the field together for the Texans.
Pick: New Orleans
Tampa Bay at Atlanta (+3)
And now for the big NFC North match...zzzzzzzz.
Pick: Tampa Bay
Arizona (+3) at Cincinnati
Make that a double.
N.Y. Giants at Detroit (+3)
Just when you thought the Giants had turned over a new leaf...turns out they’re the same bunch of mouthy punks who can’t back it up against a real team.
Consider last week's loss to the Cowboys: Brandon Jacobs spouts off beforehand, Osi Umenyiora chimes in after with “I still think we’re a better team than they are,” and even Tom Coughlin resorts to blaming the refs.
Hey Tom—try blaming your inept QB...or at least teaching him how to read the playclock.
Detroit, meanwhile, lost to the Cardinals and blew a golden chance to keep up with the Packers.
Both teams are desperate to stay in the Wild Card hunt, and both are capable of putting up points. This should be the most exciting NFC game of the week.
Carolina (+10) at Green Bay
If Green Bay is able to get a running game going with Ryan Grant (119 yards last weekend), the Packers will truly be a dangerous team.
Kansas City (+14 1⁄2) at Indianapolis
What a difference two weeks makes.
One minute you’re up 10 against the Pats, the next you’ve lost two straight and you’re decimated by injuries.
Forget home-field advantage—with Dwight Freeney gone for the year, the Colts are just looking to survive the regular season
The Brodie Croyle Era begins in Kansas City. Hold the applause.
Pittsburgh at N.Y. Jets (+9)
Pittsburgh is looking scary. That defense is punishing, and Big Ben is atoning for his performance last season.
The Jets, on the other hand, are preparing to be the first team to give up 100 points in a game when they go to Foxboro on December 16th .
St. Louis at San Francisco (+2 1⁄2)
I think my Bloody Mary needs refreshing. What the hell, at least the Rams won a game. Give the way the 49ers are playing, it could be two in a row.
Pick: San Francisco
Chicago (+5 1⁄2) at Seattle
Bears fans cringed when they saw Rex Grossman enter the game last weekend—but Chicago pulled out a win against an inept Raiders team.
Look for the Windy City faithful to pull a Billy Batts this week—telling Grossman to get his shine box by halftime.
Seattle should be well-rested after their second bye, er...win against the 49ers Monday night.
Washington (+10 1⁄2) at Dallas
Cowboys-Redskins matchups are normally up for grabs regardless of the records—but this Redskins team has been so injury-plagued at DB and WR that the game is all but a given.
Laying this many points against a blood rival in the division is a risk...but this one should be over by halftime.
New England at Buffalo (+15 1⁄2)
Buffalo has rebounded from a gut-wrenching loss against the Cowboys to win four straight.
Wish it could be five after after this Sunday night...but that isn’t happening.
NBC has flexed the game to prime-time, possibly because they want to feature a team everyone loves to hate.
With Marshawn Lynch likely out, expect another Pats blowout. The only real question is the over/under on the Pats' point toal...and the over/under on how many calls Bill Simmons whines about next week.
Monday, November 19
Tennessee (+2) at Denver
Tennessee is locked in a fierce battle for the AFC Wild Card with the division rival Jaguars.
The Titans need DT Albert “Let me stomp on you while you’re down” Haynesworth back on defense. With him, they were only giving up 63 yards on the ground. Without him, they gave up 163 last week.
I’m not real good at this whole math thing, but I think that’s bad.