NCAA Football Has Some Questions To Answer

On the first Thursday of the NCAA season you won't be able to wear black make-up, start your special teams in a wedge block, or taunt your opponent if you score.

There's no truth to the rumor that, starting with the 2011 season, all college football players must have an immaculate high school record, and universities will be fined if a football player misses a team meeting for the death of his grandmother.

There's also no confirming that the NCAA will adopt a new slogan: "Big Brother Is Watching You."

While we can understand the wedge blocking rule—we don't want anyone to get injured or killed out there—but eye black? Really? What difference does it truly make? Is it going to change the world?

And don't get me onto the taunting. The VFA was at the Georgia-LSU game at Sanford Stadium in 2009 for one of the biggest piece-of-crap calls in NCAA history involving AJ Green, a great touchdown catch, and a celebration that was called "taunting."

It cost Georgia the game.

First of all, what is considered taunting? Is diving over a defender considered taunting if the wide receiver is the size of PSU receiver Derek Moye and the cornerback could star as 'Grumpy' in Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs?

Is celebrating in the end zone taunting? Is celebrating BEFORE you get to the end zone really make much difference to people's lives - other than the abuse he'll get from the home crowd? Seriously - get a life!!

If so, then every player in college football is dead. Is smiling ok after scoring? What happens during the last seconds of a National Championship Game when you're going absolutely crazy with your female cheerleader buddies, only to look up and see a sea of opposing fans? Is the ref going to blow up the play and cancel out your points? Seriously?

How is it going to be reinforced? Which school is going to be made an example of? Will Ohio State get one in the Horseshoe, or Florida in the Swamp? Will visiting schools be punished?

Let's say Penn State actually scores a touchdown in Tuscaloosa and celebrates in the end zone. Can they expect a flag, or will fans live in fear of their team scoring as the visiting team to an SEC school, for fear that 100,000 people will start screaming for a flag to be thrown, knowing full well that SEC officials—who had one of their worst years on record in 2009—may well throw one and change the game.

Thanks, NCAA, you've taken just a little bit more fun out of a fun game. That's what college football is, right? Fun?

Now, I'm off to practice my moonwalk .