Imagine being Albert Haynesworth right now.
You cashed in big time in signing with the Redskins to the tune of $41 million guaranteed last year. Now, just one year into your deal, a new coach comes to town along with a new defensive scheme.
When Haynesworth heard about all this change, he reportedly gave the kind of look you see in this photo.
Because of this reaction, there are supposedly as many as five teams willing to give him another payday to lure him to town.
All this while Mike Shanahan says there will be no trade—or at least he said it through Adam Schefter.
So, let's assume that the 3-4 and a move to nose tackle is not going to make Fat Albert happy.
Who has the best chance to land the defensive juggernaut?
WHY IT MAKES SENSE: The Jaguars are reportedly all about defense in this defense-heavy draft. Haynesworth gives you that and might only cost you a third-round pick.
Or, work a player swap and get rid of some under-performers. How about DT John Henderson and LB Clint Ingram for Haynesworth? Henderson is two years older than Haynesworth and Ingram has underwhelmed in teal.
WHY IT'S NONSENSE: The Jags just aren't that close to making a Super Bowl run. Plus, with Wayne Weaver reportedly already out the door in his mind, would he really be willing to take on that kind of money?
PROGNOSIS: Very unlikely. 25-1 odds.
WHY IT MAKES SENSE: Albert's former defensive coach, Jim Schwartz, is the head coach in Motown. Plus, Haynesworth's base salary of $16 million over the next three years would fit into the Lions' budget.
And think of this. That $16 million is about half of what the Lions would have to pay for Ndamukong Suh if they were to draft him at No. 2.
The only thing more screwed up than big deals like Haynesworth's is the money the league pays to rookies.
Plus, the Lions have the second pick of the second round as well to offer up.
WHY IT'S NONSENSE: The 'Skins paid $21 million to Haynesworth last week in bonus money as part of the deal. Daniel Snyder would want some of that back.
Haynesworth has said he might be willing to pay some back, but the Lions are unlikely to pony up any of it.
Plus, he made it clear that Detroit wasn't an option last year.
PROGNOSIS: The team has shown signs of life under Matthew Stafford. Still, the deal seems unlikely. We'll go 15-1 odds.
WHY IT MAKES SENSE: Pete Carroll and Paul Allen want to make a splash in a year where they see the NFC West is there for the taking. Plus, new 'Hawks running backs coach Sherman Lewis was in DC last year and can vouch for Haynesworth.
Seattle could offer up the 28th pick and a restructured deal.
WHY IT'S NONSENSE: The Seahawks seem pretty infatuated with Brandon Marshall. It might take those picks to land him.
Plus, why go after a guy with baggage when you can get a much younger version of him in the draft?
PROGNOSIS: I'd give this 8-1 odds. Not out of the question.
WHY IT MAKES SENSE: New ownership in town and a make-or-break year for Steve Spagnuolo. To paraphrase Martin Landau's agent from "Entourage", "If you could get a franchise QB, a star defender, and still get a wideout all within the first hours of the draft, is that something you might be interested in?"
Haynesworth's stats may not have been amazing last year, but look at his teammates. He made everyone around him better. That would bode well for Chris Long.
WHY IT'S NONSENSE: Giving bonus money back to the 'Skins could be the sticking point. Plus, with so many needs, the Rams might not be interested in parting ways with any draft picks—even a late rounder.
PROGNOSIS: 15-1 odds on this. That would almost be too much luck and goodwill for me to believe is capable for the Rams right now.
WHY IT MAKES SENSE: The Bucs were in hot pursuit of Haynesworth last year. Plus, with the level of talent in this draft, Tampa Bay essentially has a first-round pick at No. 35 (third in the second round).
WHY IT'S NONSENSE: The Glazers are deep in debt with Manchester United. And they have too many holes to fill to be considered one big star away.
PROGNOSIS: Nah. 50-1 odds here. NFL insiders have them in the mix, but I don't get it.
CAROLINA PANTHERS: John Fox needs someone to lead the Peppers-less defense. Their six DTs are weak at best right now and could learn by Albert osmosis. 20-1
CHICAGO BEARS: This makes sense because the Bears are stocking up on the defensive line. The paycheck is manageable by Chicago salary standards. But without a first-rounder (the Broncos have that; thanks, Jay), it's hard to see the Bears trading away draft picks. 20-1
OAKLAND RAIDERS: Al Davis can't stomach the kind of pathetic defensive stats the team put up last year against the run. Haynesworth could help that. Plus, the Redskins get him out of the NFC. 25-1.
TENNESSEE TITANS: Can you go home again? The Titans have a need. Both sides know what they'd be getting. But I can't imagine the 'Skins spinning this in a PR-happy way. And if the Titans didn't want to pay him last time, why would they pay back overpriced bonus money to Washington? 30-1
NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS: They're like the Mikey from the Life cereal commercials. They'll always like it no matter the player involved. Seriously though, the Pats have a recent history of going after big-name defenders (see Roosevelt Colvin and Adalius Thomas). And again, the base price tag is not that offensive. Plenty of draft picks there. Gets him out of the NFC. We're just saying. 40-1