Notice to Certain NBA Players: Please Retire, You're Killing Us

Jux Berg

Columnist Written on November 14, 2007

(Page 2 of 2)

If you’re 6 foot 9, and all you can do is drop a soft, right-handed, petter dunk off of one foot, you have no business playing in the NBA. Plus, Howard's "jump" shot is the basketball equivalent of a goat having sex with a dead deer.

10) Raef Lafrentz – POR

I had enough of Lafrentz after watching his boring freshman year at Kansas...and he's STILL in the NBA? I can’t take this anymore. I’m gonna go jump off a cliff, or into an active, erupting volcano JUST so I don’t have to watch this guy play any more.

11) Vladimir Radmanovic – LAL

Alright, buddy: You signed your deal and got your chance to.start. 6.6 ppg last year, and a $5.5 mil contract—you’ve really shown you deserved that paycheck.

Go back to Croatia, get a horse, live in the mountains, and don't bother anybody.

12) Jacque Vaughn – SA

Remember the Family Guy where Chris asks "How does Kevin Costner keep gettin' work?" Well, go ahead swap the name Jacque Vaughn in there, because what has he EVER done to warrant a 10+ year NBA career?

Every time he checks into a game I’m watching, I flip the channel to C-SPAN—because farm-subsidy debates are 1,000 times more exciting than watching him play.

Did I leave anybody out? I’m sure there are more….

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