Spring Training is like Jesse James at this point: nobody wants it around.
A mere two weeks from Opening Day and I think we’ve all seen enough fake baseball for the year. We don’t want to watch fake baseball; the players don’t want to play fake baseball; and the announcers don’t want to announce fake baseball. It’s the dog days of spring training.
But now that we’re officially into spring we can look forward to real baseball in a matter of days. Bad for veteran pitcher X’s golf game, but good for the rest of us.
Opening Day in St. Louis is kind of like senior skip day in high school except for when we get wasted in the streets for baseball, cops laugh and pat you on the back. Everyone is already planting the seeds of a "minor cold" or "family emergency: with their boss.
Boss: “Aaron, you don’t look so good today, what’s up?”
ATH: “Well, sir, Granny just hasn’t being doing so well lately. I’m worried she doesn’t have much time left.”
Boss: “Didn’t she die last year around this time?”
ATH: “Ummm, well that was on my mother’s side?”
Really, though, if you’re lucky enough to go to the game, then you’re going to figure out a way to go. And living in St. Louis, nobody—not even the bossman—will care too much that you played hooky for a little small ball.
In honor of Opening Day, let’s take a look at the top seven traditions of Opening Day in St. Louis.