I’ve come here to laugh with the Mets, not at them. Or to laugh with them and not angst over them. Or just to laugh. Please God, let me laugh. The season hasn’t even started yet and I pretty much want to kill myself already. After all of last year’s injuries, this spring the Mets have given us the Great Carlos Beltran Knee Fiasco, Frankie Rodriguez’s pink eye, Kelvim Escobar’s sore shoulder and now Jose Reyes’ overactive thyroid, which we’ve just learned will take two to eight weeks (years?) to stabilize before he can resume baseball activities, which means he’ll most likely miss opening day. There have also been the usual miscommunications and misdiagnoses. And Reyes and Beltran are linked to a doctor in Canada who’s doling out HGH. How frustrated and angry can one fan base get? Don’t you have to laugh? Maybe I’m being desperate here and ignoring reality, but isn’t it easier that way (ignoring reality is how I usually deal with things in my life anyway).
So let’s enjoy the Mets’ shenanigans instead of being enraged by them. We have enough to be angry with as it is, what with unemployment, cab drivers trying to run us over while crossing the streets of New York, the cost of my monthly New Jersey Transit train pass going up 25% while their service gets continuously worse, and the tragic and untimely death of Corey Haim. So what’s an overactive thyroid here or a case of pink eye there? Besides all the injuries, there are some other amusing aspects to the Mets that can keep us occupied. Luis Castillo’s still on the team. That’s kind of funny. Jerry Manuel’s always laughing (and I mean always) so something must be humorous somewhere around Queens and Port St. Lucie. Omar Minaya still runs the team? We can all laugh at his Abbott and Costello−like press conferences. The Wilpons are going to own the team until they stop making Wilpons? You have to cackle at that, don’t you? Front office buffoonery? A shaky starting rotation? No setup man? So what? It’s more entertaining this way.
There’s one thing you can say about the Mets. They’re not dull. And at least they have the best announcers in baseball, so their broadcasts are always watchable. Do you really want boring old competency? On-the-ball owners and a sane general manager? A manager who always makes the right moves? What kind of fun is that? Players who know how to touch all the bases? And know how to slide and catch pop-ups? How does that build character? How is that any fun?
So let’s just kick back and enjoy the entertaining world that the New York Mets provide for us. “It can only happen to the Mets” should be trademarked by the franchise. Hey, maybe they’ll surprise us all and even win a few games. But if I wanted baseball to be a source of enjoyment and relaxation, while feeling like a winner, and not one of anger, bitterness and betrayal, I wouldn’t be a Mets fan, would I?