SHOCKING NEWS: TNA IS RUN BY A MONKEY

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SHOCKING NEWS: TNA IS RUN BY A MONKEY
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After weeks and weeks of speculation on how supposed "brilliant wrestling minds" like Hulk Hogan, Eric Bischoff, and Vince Russo are running TNA Wrestling, one thing is certain...

They do not have brilliant wrestling minds.

Today, we have found out who is REALLY running this steamy pile of crap called TNA Wrestling and that is none other than a banana eating monkey.

Not a crack-whore like Dixie Carter who doesn't know a f'n thing about wrestling.  It's obvious.

Actually, I hate to disrespect a monkey like that.

The real monkey is anyone who wasted there time watching this show.  Me included.

My point is, what the hell did I watch on Monday Night?  Once again, I get tricked into going out of my way to catch TNA Wrestling thinking they finally have another chance to turn things around.

Fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice, shame on me.  Fool me three times, and I'll break your face.

I missed some logical build to the biggest wrestling show of the year for a two-hour long cluster-F.  Sure, RAW is formulaic and isn't really must-see TV anymore.  But at least they have direction.

This show was a trainwreck from the start.  I did find it funny, however, that The Undertaker and Shawn were in the ring on RAW the same time Hogan was in the ring on Impact.

This is like 1997 all over again. 

Impact had one match worth wasting your time on and that was the X-Divison match.  Instead of maybe putting one or two more fast-paced, adrenaline filled matches, we get stuck with TWO Hogan/Abyss vs. Flair/Styles matches that were absolutely pathetic.

Hall and X-Pac are still wasting our time.  No one cares about them anymore.  They are both drugged up, out of shape, and absolutely suck.

Why did Beer Money turn heel?  This made no sense because they are the most over tag team faces in the company.

Vince Russo 101 was in full effect.  If all else fails, turn someone heel that the crowd wouldn't expect.  I'm really shocked that RVD wasn't the heel turn because TNA would be that stupid to do something like that.

Why would the security guards that were holding Hogan back not go and try to stop Sting from relentlessly assaulting RVD with a rubber baseball bat? 

The Sting heel turn was horrible.  I can't stop thinking about the potential of a slow build towards another Sting vs. Flair match.  Instead, we have to wait until AJ and Flair turn on Sting.  When heel Sting does not work, that is what will happen.

I hope RVD didn't really sign anything.  GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN!!

Did anyone else think that Nigel McGuinness (Desmond Wolfe) beating The Pope with a chain was a bit racist? 

Can I please never see Brooke Hogan or Bubba The Semen Sponge on TV ever again?  Nobody wants to see them and no one will change the channel to see them. 

And Jeff Hardy, too.  Please, just allow him to go to jail in peace.  Keep him off our TV screen. 

We already have two proven drug addicts (Hall and Waltman), a bunch of suspect drug addicts (Hogan, Flair, Bischoff, Russo, Dixie, and anyone else who thinks this was good TV) and a tranny (Shannon Moore).  We don't need another drug addict.

TNA thinks this is really a Monday Night War.  Newsflash to TNA: It's all just a figment of your f'n imagination.  There is no war.  What we are witnessing is the destruction of TNA.  A destruction that has been coming for a long, long time. 

There was a lot of speculation on what Hogan and Bischoff would actually do for TNA.  The writing is on the wall, folks. 

And let's just hope Dixie has the little brain knowledge needed to get rid of them before it is too late.

Maybe bring in a couple of real monkeys to do the job.

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