MLB: And The World Series Trophy Goes To...

Another Oscar night filled with people who are completely useless to society explaining their thoughts and ideals to it while holding a golden naked man has passed, but the quest for a different trophy has begun.

And I, another useless person to society, would like to explain my thoughts and ideas of what each team needs to do to hold the Commissioner's Trophy at the end of the 2010 MLB season.

With spring training beginning, now is the perfect time to get your arguing shoes laced up for another year of baseball.

And what better way to prepare one's arguing than with some predictions that will sure to bring minor squabbles, which will conveniently be forgotten by the person in the wrong by the end of the season.

The low-budget Hurt Locker beat out the extremely expensive and over-hyped Avatar for Best Picture.

Could this be a foreshadowing of the Yankees being dethroned by a smaller power...probably not, but it was a good comparison and I felt the need to mock the plotless, full of itself, video game Avatar.

And the division titles go to...

(In order of how they will finish in 2010.)

AL EAST - New York Yankees

The Positive

You won 103 games and the World Series last year and you've added Curtis Granderson, Nick Johnson, and Javier Vazquez to your team. You led the league in runs last season and you added a guy who hit 30 home runs (10 at Comerica Park) and played a great center field along with a guy who can hit .300 for you.

Your pitching staff led the American League in strikeouts last season and you added Javier Vazquez, who was second in the National League in strikeouts. With C.C. Sabathia, A.J. Burnett, Javier Vazquez, Andy Pettitte, and most likely Joba Chamberlain, you have the best starting rotation in baseball.

The Negative

It is extremely difficult to find negatives with this team.

You lost old reliables Johnny Damon and Hideki Matsui, who have been nothing but solid while wearing pinstripes, putting a bit of a question mark in left field. However, even that negative could be a positive since you may have let them go at the perfect time in their careers (their downhill time) replacing them with Randy Winn/Brett Gardner and Johnson.

On the topic of old guys, Derek Jeter and Jorge Posada are due for down years. In Jeter's case, it has to happen some time...right?

Your bullpen is a bit shaky and depending on great years from Phil Hughes and Alfredo Aceves once again.

Best Director - The Pitching Staff

Will Sabathia have another Cy Young caliber year?
Will Burnett have another healthy year?
Which Javy Vazquez will show up?
Will the old guys (Pettitte and Mariano River) ever show age?
Will the young guy (Chamberlain) be able to hold a starting job?

Best Actor - Alex Rodriguez

Imagine how powerful the Yankees will be with Rodriguez for the entire season and the weight of winning a championship off his back.

Best Supporting Actor - Robinson Cano

The real question is if Cano can have another great full season instead of just half of one.

Boston Red Sox

The Positive

Defensively you look very good adding Mike Cameron to the outfield and Marc Scutaro and Adrian Beltre to the infield. In fact, you arguably have the best defensive team in baseball. More importantly, you really didn't have to sacrifice offense for defense as you only lost Jason Bay to a team that was third in the league in runs scored last season.

You also added John Lackey, although you insanely overpaid him, to a rotation that was hit hard with the injury bug last season. With a rotation of Josh Beckett, Jon Lester, Daisuke Matsuzaka, Lackey, Clay Bucholz/Tim Wakefield, you have arguably the second best pitching rotation in baseball.

You also have all important members, minus Takashi Saito, returning to an impressive 2009 bullpen.

The Negative

You have some dead weight in the form of David Ortiz, Mike Lowell, and Jason Varitek. Varitek will be useful for backing up Victor Martinez, who is not known for his defense, at catcher, but where are Lowell and Ortiz going to go?

Beltre is at third and Kevin Youkilis is at first. That leaves a DH battle between Lowell and Ortiz. It isn't a bad problem to have, but something to think about.

Your pitching rotation, although good on paper and the second best rotation in baseball, has some questions and is in the same division as the best rotation in baseball. Matsuzaka is coming off a 5.76 ERA, 59.1 IP season, Lackey had an elbow injury last season, and a lot of pressure was put on a second-year pitcher in the form of Jon Lester.

Best Director - The Old Guys

What are Ortiz and Lowell going to give you?
Will Lackey stay healthy?
What does Wakefield have left?

Best Actor - Daisuke Matsuzaka

You essentially can predict what you are going to get out of Beckett, Lester, Wakefield and Lackey if they stay healthy. Matsuzaka, however, is a complete wildcard at this point.

Best Supporting Actor - Victor Martinez

Imagine this team with Victor Martinez for a full season.

Tampa Bay Rays

The Positive

You were able to compete last season with an extremely mediocre team ERA of 4.33, good enough for 15th in baseball, a big injury to Jason Bartlett and no production from B.J. Upton, Dioner Navarro, or Pat Burrell.

You were able to overcome these bad performances with surprise ones from Bartlett, Ben Zobrist and Jeff Niemann.

Your very good bullpen returns with J.P. Howell, Dan Wheeler, Lance Cormier and Randy Choate along with the nice addition of Rafael Soriano.

The Negative

Your starting pitching killed you last season.

The performances by James Shields (4.14 ERA), Andy Sonnanstine (6.77 ERA) and Scott Kazmir (no longer on the team, but had a 5.92 ERA) completely buried you. There is a good chance the inflated ERAs were due to the World Series run two seasons ago.

Best Director - Direct them to 2008

If Shields, Sonnastine, and Matt Garza (3.92 ERA in 2009) can return to their 2008 form to go along with David Price, Niemann and perhaps something from the 24-year-old Wade Davis, the Rays pitching staff could be lethal.

There is a good chance Sonnanstine never returns to form simply because he just isn't that good of a pitcher. Shields, however, should have a better season in 2010.

Best Actor - B.J. Upton

Upton (.241 BA, .313 OBP, 11 HR, 55 RBI, 42 SB and 14 CS) was awful last
season. A good season from him can completely change this team.

Supporting Actor - Jason Bartlett and Ben Zobrist

You essentially know what you are getting with Carl Crawford, Evan Longoria, and Carlos Pena, but will Bartlett and Zobrist be able to repeat their 2009 campaigns.

Baltimore Orioles

The Positive

You have a lot of good, young talent in the forms of Adam Jones, Nolen Reimold, Nick Markakis, and Matt Wieters.

The Negative

That's pretty much all you have to go along with Brian Roberts.

You added Miguel Tejada and Garrett Atkins to the team, who really won't add much. Yes, Tejada, had a good season last year, but the American League is a whole different ball game.

You had the worst pitching staff in baseball last year and your big move was getting Kevin Millwood. If Jeremy Guthrie has another season above five for his ERA, you are looking at another year with the worst pitching staff in baseball.

Best Director - Nick Markakis

Markakis had a good season last season, but was expected to do much more. Having just 18 home runs in the middle of your lineup won't work.

Best Actor - Jeremy Guthrie

As stated above, Guthrie had an atrocious 2009 season. If you give me a 5.09 ERA for an ace, I will give you the worst pitching staff in baseball.

Best Supporting Actor - Matt Wieters

Wieters closed out last season quite well going 37-for-111 with four home runs and 17 RBI. People are expecting big things from the big catcher.

Toronto Blue Jays

The Positive

This is a tough one to spin positively. You went from having a young, talented, starting rotation two years ago, along with great defense to nothing.

You still have Adam Lind and Aaron Hill, but I'm not sure just how dependable those two are.

You did get a boatload of prospects in the Roy Halladay deal, so look brightly on the future.

Look for 23-year-old, lefty Marc Rzepczynski to make his way into the starting rotation.

The Negative

Defensively you lost Alex Rios, Scott Rolen, and Marc Scutaro. Oh, and you also lost that Halladay guy.

Your ace is now a second-year player in the form of Ricky Romero.

Best Director - Ricky Romero

After a strong rookie season, the ace job is now his. How will he handle it?

Best Actor - Adam Lind

At just 25, Lind had a monster season batting .305 with a .370 OBP, 35 home runs and 114 RBI.

Can he do it again?

Best Supporting Actor - Aaron Hill

At just 27, Hill had a breakout season last year batting .286 with 36 home runs and 108 RBI.

Can he do it again?

AL CENTRAL - Minnesota Twins

The Positive

You added J.J. Hardy realizing Nick Punto's bouncing bunts off the trampoline field in the Metrodome would no longer work outside. You added Jim Thome to DH if Delmon Young is awful again and you are forced to start Jason Kubel and Michael Cuddyer in the outfield.

Most importantly, you added Orlando Hudson at second base, which will help incredibly defensively.

Although everyone is wondering how you will play out of the dome, one just needs to look at the road stats of Joe Mauer, Justin Morneau, Jason Kubel, and Michael Cuddyer to realize offensively you should be okay. Denard Span, although his numbers are a tad worse, also had decent numbers away from the dome.

No longer are the Twins made up of Carlos Gomezes and Nick Puntos (they have him, but he won't play once they realize how grass works). They have a very good offense regardless of where they play.

I would say the Twins pitching staff would be affected by moving outside, but after last season, I think the Twins are looking for any effect on their staff.

Oh, and you also have Joe Mauer for an entire season.

The Negative

Your pitching was extremely un-Twinlike posting a 4.50 ERA, good enough for 23rd in baseball and you didn't change it.

The Twins are still looking at a staff of Francisco Liriano, Scott Baker, Kevin Slowey, Nick Blackburn and Carl Pavano.

Although you're looking like the normal strong Twins' bullpen, Joe Nathan is currently having trouble with his surgically repaired right elbow.

An injury to Nathan would be a disaster for the Twins.

(Update: Reports suggest Nathan may in fact miss the entire season meaning the closer job will most likely go to Jon Rauch and the battle between the White Sox just got tighter.)

Best Director - Francisco Liriano

Rumor has it Liriano tore up fall leagues in the offseason, but whether that will transfer to the 2010 season is yet to be seen.

The Twins need Liriano and Slowey to return to some kind of form they once had.

Best Actor - Jason Kubel

We know what Joe Mauer and Justin Morneau are going to give us, but after a great 2009 season, we do not quite know which direction Kubel's career will take us.

Best Supporting Actor - Delmon Young

Young has to do something this season, especially since his job is under threat. The only thing keeping his head afloat is his cannon of an arm in the outfield.

Young has killed the Twins who can't help but wonder where their team would be if they hadn't traded Matt Garza and Jason Bartlett for him.

Chicago White Sox

The Positive

With Mark Buehrle, Jake Peavy, John Danks, Gavin Floyd, and Freddy Garcia, you are looking at the third best rotation in baseball.

You also added J.J. Putz to go along with Matt Thornton and Bobby Jenks in the bullpen who, if healthy and playing for a closing role, which means more money, could help immensely.

You will no longer be playing station-to-station offense with every person in the lineup having the ability to score from second and get to third from first on a base hit except, of course, Paul Konerko.

You have Gordon Beckham for an entire season.

The Negative

You have no power in a home run ballpark.

Although you added Alex Rios to the outfield, the rest is suspect with Carlos Quentin and Juan Pierre manning left and right field. You moved Beckham to his second position in as many years, Teahen, who wasn't a full-time third basemen last season, back to third, while having the always interesting Alexei Ramirez at shortstop.

There is no way of predicting what Juan Pierre and Andruw Jones are going to give you, but an important statistic to look into would be their ages and in Jones' case, his weight.

On the opposite side of the age spectrum is whether or not Gordon Beckham will have the dreaded sophomore slump; a nearly impossible thing to predict.

In terms of the rotation, with Peavy being not only in a hitter's ballpark, but the American League, one has to wonder how that will affect his numbers. This, of course, to go along with the question of his health after last season.

The White Sox also have to wonder about the health of Carlos Quentin and J.J. Putz.

Best Director - Jake Peavy

If Jake Peavy can put up Cy Young caliber numbers as he did in the National League, the White Sox will be sitting pretty.

Best Actor - Carlos Quentin

2008 MVP caliber season or 2009 injury plagued season?

Best Supporting Actor - Alex Rios

With Jim Thome and Jermaine Dye gone, the White Sox are looking for Alex Rios and Carlos Quentin to step into the power positions.

With questions of his dedication spreading, Rios is going to need to show people something. He has the ability to be a 30/30 man, but also has the ability to be a 12/12 man.

Detroit Tigers

The Positive

Last year you lost the division by one game with two of your starters injured and Armando Galarraga (5.64 ERA) having an awful season. You added Johnny Damon to replace the hole Curtis Granderson left and you have some nice young talent in the forms of Austin Jackson and Scott Sizemore.

Your rotation, when healthy (words all Tigers' fans know well), is solid in the form of Justin Verlander, Rick Porcello, Max Scherzer, Jeremy Bonderman and Aramando Galarraga/Nate Robertson. You have young pitchers who have shown signs of knowing how to pitch in the 2009 rookie of the year candidate Porcello, 2008 rookie of the year candidate Galarraga and Scherzer.

You also fixed your sketchy closer situation you've had for the last couple of years signing Jose Valverde.

The Negative

You lost your two very good defenders along with the one and two in your lineup in Granderson and Placido Polanco. Speaking of defense, your outfield has Johnny Damon and Magglio Ordonez in it; in Comerica Park, that spells disaster.

Unless Magglio Ordonez DHs, which is highly unlikey with Brandon Inge at third, Miguel Cabrera at first, and Carlos Guillen, the defense could be awful.

Pitching-wise, you lost your second best starter last year in Edwin Jackson and are putting a lot of pressure on a second-year guy in Porcello. Scherzer is a nice guy to secure three sure arms, but he's no Jackson.

Bonderman and Robertson never stay healthy, so Galarraga needs to have a comeback season for you to compete.

Speaking of come back seasons, Ordonez needs to have one as well.

Finally, no one in your bullpen, minus the closer, had an ERA below four last season.

Best Director - Miguel Cabrera

This team goes where Cabrera goes...except when he goes to the bar.

Best Actor - Justin Verlander

The strikeout leader last year will have to have another Cy Young caliber year and cannot drop-off as he's done in the past after a good season.

Best Supporting Actor - Armando Galarraga

Galarraga is your wildcard in the starting rotation, besides the health of Bonderman. Last year could have just been a sophomore slump for Galarraga, however.

Cleveland Indians

The Positive

You have young talent with a new manager. Whether Mark Shapiro has already traded away the young talent, is yet to be seen.

There is no physical way Grady Sizemore will have the kind of season he did last year. You also have a healthy Asdrubal Cabrera to compliment Sizemore. You added Russell Branyan to fill the power hole in your lineup and have another season to watch and say Shin Soo-Choo.

There is hope for Andy Marte along with youngsters Matt Laporta, Lou Marson, and Michael Brantley.

The Negative

Shapiro did trade away a lot of the talent in C.C. Sabathia, Cliff Lee, Victor Martinez and Franklin Gutierrez.

Your current pitching staff is aced by Jake Westbrook and your bullpen is in complete shambles.

Travis Hafner has become completely irrelevant and you are now depending on Russell Branyan, the 35-year-old who was playing for a contract last season.

Andy Marte is yet to pan out the way you hoped, which is the story of the Indians' recent seasons; young guys either being traded away or not panning out.

Best Director - Grady Sizemore

Sizemore had an uncharacteristic season last year batting .248 with 18 home runs and 13 stolen bases to go along with an injury. It is necessary for him to return to form.

Best Actor - Asdrubal Cabrera

Cabrera had a great season last year with an injury mixed in batting .308 with a .361 OBP, 68 RBI, 81 runs and 17 stolen bases. His role has now changed to leader instead of young prospect.

Best Supporting Actor - The Youngins

How will the youngsters respond to starting the season in a MLB lineup?

Kansas City Royals

The Positive

Baseball season is only seven months long, about eight if you're lucky. You, however, would need to get extremely lucky.

You have the best pitcher in baseball Zack Greinke and one of the best closers in baseball Joakim Soria. In between, however, is a whole nother ball game.

The Negative

You have a "B" team starting for you.

Mainly, the White Sox "B" team in the forms of Scott Podsednik, Josh Fields and Chris Getz, along with Brian Anderson on your bench. Throw in Rick Ankiel, Jason Kendall and Jose Guillen and I'll show you guys who didn't find their names on any other team's list to start.

Minus Greinke, your entire starting rotation had ERAs 4.73 and above last season...and they are all back.

This season is going to feel much longer than seven months.

Best Director - Zack Greinke

Really no need for explanation here. He is this entire team and whether or not it freaks him out sending him back to therapy is something we'll have to see.

Best Actor - Joakim Soria

Soria was injured last season and it should be interesting to see if he can bounce back.

Best Supporting Actor - Billy Butler, Alberto Callapso, and David DeJesus.

These are the only three who actually seem to know what they are doing in the Royals' lineup.

AL WEST - Seattle Mariners

The Positive

You added Cliff Lee to the best American League pitching staff (3.87 ERA) last season. With Felix Hernandez, Erik Bedard and Lee, you could have the best 1-2-3 in baseball.

Ian Snell adjusted to the American League quite well sporting a 4.20 ERA. He could be a nice fourth starting pitcher.

You also added Chone Figgins, Milton Bradley, Casey Kotchman, and Ryan Garko to a team in desperate need of offense last season scoring the third lowest run total in baseball.

Defensively you have Jack Wilson at shortstop for a full season along with Ichiro and Franklin Gutierrez in the outfield.

The Negative

You lost third baseman Adrian Beltre, which will hurt anyone's defense along with your leading run producer in Russell Branyan.

Bradley, Kotchman, and Garko are all coming off extremely disappointing
seasons.

Bedard is likely to at least miss the first month of the season coming back from shoulder surgery.

You also lost Jarrod Washburn (hasn't signed with a team yet), who had the second most innings on the team and a 2.64 ERA last season. Besides Hernandez, the most current innings anyone pitched for you last season was Ryan Rowland-Smith with 96.1.

In your bullpen, you lost Mark Lowe, Sean White and Miguel Batista; three big parts to the pen's success.

Best Director - Felix Hernandez

Aftering throwing 238.1 innings pitched, can Hernandez have the same dominance as last season?

Best Actor - Cliff Lee

Lee and Hernandez are the kind of guys you just say to yourself, "Just get me in the playoffs and we will see what happens from there."

Best Supporting Actor - The offense

Can the offense get the Mariners pitching staff to the playoffs?

Los Angeles Angels

The Positive

It's extremely difficult to pick against the Angels when you have an entire lineup who can bat .300 or above. You lost Vladmir Guerrero and replaced him with Hideki Matsui. Not a bad move, if Matsui stays healthy; him playing DH will hopefully keep him off the DL for you.

You made it to the American League Championship with the 21st worst ERA in baseball. That most likely will not happen again based on the fact Erving Santana cannot be as bad as he was and you've added, although overpriced, Joel Pineiro to the starting rotation.

You also added Fernando Rodney to the pen in case Brian Fuentes continues to have an ERA above four.

The Negative

As a team with pitching problems, you lost John Lackey to free agency. You are now depending on Scott Kazmir, who had a dreadful season last year, and Pineiro, who is coming from the National League.

You also lost Chone Figgins to free agency, a guy who batted .298 with a .395 OBP and 42 stolen bases for you.

Best Director - Kendry Morales

Coming off a monster season, the Angels will need another one from Morales.

Best Actor - Howie Kendrick and Juan Rivera

Both need to stay healthy and in Kendrick's case, at some point live up to the hype.

Best Supporting Actor - Jered Weaver

There is no support net of Lackey behind him, so Weaver has to take this rotation under his wing as the ace.

Texas Rangers

The Positive

You have a young team that offensively can pop off at any minute. You competed last year with Chris Davis and Josh Hamilton giving you absolutely nothing.

You added Vladamir Guerrero who can still hit when healthy.

You have Elvis Andrus, who arguably should have won the Rookie of the Year award and a Gold Glove last season.

Throw this together with Ian Kinsler, Nelson Cruz and Michael Young and you have yourself an offense.

The Negative

You forgot about that whole pitching thing, which is not new for the Rangers.

You lost your best pitcher from last season in Kevin Millwood and have a starting rotation made up of unreliables Scott Feldman, Tommy Hunter, Rich Harden and two players to be named later.

Guerrero could also be at the end of his ropes with speculation of his actual age and his body breaking down. A full season out of him is doubtful, but would be a huge addition.

Best Director - The Pitching Staff

With this offense, the Rangers just need some kind of reliable pitching out of the staff. We all know pitching wins championships and the Rangers don't have any.

Best Actor - Josh Hamilton

Although Josh Hamilton is probably busy trying to make The Passion of the Christ 2, he needs to come back and give the Rangers what he did two seasons ago.

Best Supporting Actor - Nelson Cruz

At this point, we know what Ian Kinsler and Michael Young are generally going to give us, but Cruz is hard to predict.

Oakland Athletics

The Positive

As usual, you have a wealth of young talent in the pitching staff.

Brett Anderson and Trevor Cahill turn 23 this year, Josh Outman turns 26, Dallas Braden turns 27, and Gio Gonzalez turns 25. You have Justin Duchscherer back and signed Ben Sheets to even out the starting rotation.

In the bullpen, you have the Rookie of the Year Andrew Bailey to go along with prospect Joey Devine.

You added Kevin Kouzmanoff to the team and will get to see Rajai Davis for an entire season.

The Negative

Although Braden, Anderson, and Outman are panning out well for the Athletics, Cahill and Vin Mazzaro were questionable last season and Gonzalez hasn't really done a thing. Add this concern with the young pitchers to the concern of whether Sheets and Duchscherer can be reliable and you have yourself a possible starting rotation nightmare.

Your bullpen is stacked, however, with Brad Ziegler, Bailey, and Devine along with Michael Wuertz.

Your offense, as usual, is questionable. Besides Davis and maybe Kurt Suzuki, your lineup is not going to scare anyone.

Best Director - Young Pitching

As stated above, the Athletics have a lot of young talent in their rotation, but we will see if their arms can last.

Best Actor - Rajai Davis

Davis is the starter of this offense and will need to repeat last year's season.

Best Supporting Actor - Ben Sheets

As he's been most of his career, Sheets is a wildcard. Is he ever going to pitch a full season again?

NL EAST - Philadelphia Phillies

The Positive

Look at your lineup.

You had the most runs in the National League last year and you added Placido Polanco. You have four guys in your lineup who can hit 30 or more home runs along with four guys who can steal 20 or more bases.

Although Jimmy Rollins still hasn't repeated his MVP season, you will take the .250 batting average, 21 home runs, 100 runs and 31 stolen bases he gave you last season any day.

Look at your starting rotation.

You had the eighth best ERA in baseball last season and you added Roy Halladay for a full season, who was dominant in the American League, to replace Cliff Lee's less than half of a season to go along with Cole Hamels, Rookie of the Year candidate J.A. Happ and Joe Blanton.

The Negative

Your bullpen is extremely questionable aside from Ryan Madson. Brad Lidge was a disaster last season and you lost Clay Condrey. You added question marks Danys Baez and Jose Contreras, but will have J.C. Romero for the entire season.

The bullpen is the only bump in the road toward another World Series trip.

Best Director - Jimmy Rollins

Which Rollins is going to show up this season?

Best Actor - Roy Halladay

If Halladay can be as good as people know he can, he could win 20-25 games with ease.

Best Supporting Actor - Placido Polanco

This was a silent pickup by the Phillies that no one seems to be talking about. Polanco is a run machine with an extremely gifted glove. He was a huge upgrade for the Phillies.

Atlanta Braves

The Positive

You have an extremely solid pitching staff with Derek Lowe, Tim Hudson, Jair Jurrijens Tommy Hanson, and Kenshin Kawakami. You added Billy Wagner and Takashi Saito to the bullpen as well.

As for the offense, you added Troy Glaus and Melky Cabrera to go along with Brian McCann, Chipper Jones, Nate Mclouth, and Yunel Escobar.

Defensively, you have an extremely good team, which we all know helps the pitching staff.

The Negative

Health is your biggest enemy with regards to Lowe, Hudson, Jones and Glaus.

Losing your best pitcher, Javier Vazquez, along with your two best bullpen guys, Mike Gonzalez and Rafael Soriano, leaves no room for injury or error in the pitching staff.

Best Director - Chipper Jones

A .264 batting average with 18 home runs and 71 RBI cannot happen again for the Braves.

Best Actor - Tim Hudson

Coming back from Tommy John surgery. Could be a huge boost.

Best Supporting Actor - Tommy Hanson

After an incredible rookie season, what will Hanson give the Braves for an encore...mmmbop, perhaps?

Florida Marlins

The Positive

You have the Rookie of the Year winner in Chris Coghlan for an entire season along with the young talent of Emilio Bonifacio and Cameron Maybin.

You also have that Hanley Ramirez guy.

As a team, you competed with Dan Uggla being extremely inconsistent and getting no help from your starting pitching minus Josh Johnson. Uggla and your starting pitching seemed to get it together at the end of last season, however.

Your bullpen has a nice middle part with Dan Meyer and Renyel Pinto coming back. Leo Nunez also seemed to get himself together at the end of last season as the closer.

The Negative

Your starting pitching staff is still the same and although they have the talent, they were awful last season.

Ricky Nolasco (5.06 ERA), Chris Volstad (5.21 ERA), and Sean West (4.79 ERA) are all returning and they better have something better this season.

Your bullpen lost headache Matt Lindstrom, but also lost the best arm in Kiko Calero.

You also cannot afford a sophomore slump from Coghlan.

Best Director - Hanley Ramirez

The team goes where Hanley Ramirez goes. Uggla and Jorge Cantu are not reliable enough to have any kind of down year or injury out of Ramirez.

Best Actor - Josh Johnson

If Johnson can get any help in the pitching rotation, the Marlins will be sitting pretty. However, he is the most reliable arm on the team and cannot have any trip-ups this season.

Best Supporting Actor - Ricky Nolasco and Chris Volstad

If they turn things around, the Marlins have a great chance at the wildcard, which is essentially up for grabs in the National League.

New York Mets

The Positive

Last season is over and by all logic, there is no way the Mets can have that many injuries again.

You added Jason Bay to the outfield along with Rod Barrajas to the catcher position; upgrades at both positions.

You added Kiko Calero and Kelvim Escobar to the bullpen to go along with Pedro Felicianno and Francisco Rodriguez.

You still have Johan Santana.

The Negative

Your starting pitching is still the same, so Mike Pelfrey (5.03 ERA), Oliver Perez (6.82 ERA) and John Maine (4.43 ERA) better do something with themselves and in the case of Maine, stay healthy.

Unfortunately a reoccurring nightmare with the Mets continues as, before the season has even started, a major injury has occurred. There is no telling when Carlos Beltran will be back or how he will recover, which is a huge blow to the Mets.

Best Director - Jason Bay

Jason Bay needs to fill some big shoes with Carlos Beltran being out.

Best Actor - Everyone in the rotation except Santana

Which versions of them are going to show up this season?

Best Supporting Actor - Jose Reyes

The only reliable Mets right now are David Wright, Johan Santana, and Jason Bay. Reyes has to become a part of that list or the Mets have no chance.

Washington Nationals

The Positive

The Stephen Strasburg saga will be entertaining.

Nyjer Morgan will be on the team for the entire season meaning you do not have to watch Adam Dunn play the outfield.

With Morgan, Ryan Zimmerman, Elijah Dukes, and Strasburg, the Nationals have a nice core of guys. Now, just trade Dunn and get some more.

Your pitching staff actually isn't that bad with John Lannan, Jason Marquis, and Strasburg. Adding Matt Capps to the closer situation will relieve a lot of headaches as well.

The Negative

We haven't seen Strasburg throw in a MLB game yet and we are depending on him for the entire Nationals season. Not a good sign out of your pitching staff.

Dukes has also not shown the amount of progress expected by now.

Scott Olsen and Garret Mock are currently in the starting rotation with ERAs above 5.60 from last season. You are also hoping for Chien-Ming Wang to provide something in the starting rotation.

Best Director - Adam Dunn

Dunn could direct the Nationals toward building by getting traded for some young talent.

Best Actor - Stephen Strasburg

Nationals are fine with essentially putting everything into this kid (I hate the fact I can call any athlete “kid” because it reminds me that I’m older than them). No one is denying it is a bad idea either, so we will have to see what he can do.

Best Supporting Actor - Ryan Zimmerman

Is there any baseball player you feel worse for than Zimmerman? Can't help, but tip your cap to such a talent sticking with such a bad team.

NL CENTRAL - St. Louis Cardinals

The Positive

Look at your lineup.

You had quality seasons from Brendan Ryan, Skip Schumaker, and the 22-year-old Colby Rasmus, to go along with Matt Holliday, Albert Pujols, Ryan Ludwick and Yadier Molina. You added Felipe Lopez to the lineup as well.

You can put anyone around Albert Pujols and that person will hit; you put Matt Holliday around him.

Your starting staff may actually be healthy and if so, Adam Wainwright and Chris Carpenter are easily the best 1-2 punch in the National League and arguably the second best in baseball.

You added Brad Penny to the mix of guys who will be pitching behind Waingwright and Carpenter. Any contribution from Penny and Kyle Lohse would be greatly appreciated.

You are bringing back your top three relievers in Ryan Franklin, Trever Miller, and Dennys Reyes.

The Negative

If Wainwright or Carepenter do get hurt, there is absolutely no back-up in that starting rotation. With the loss of Joel Pineiro, you do not have a reliable three...four...or five.

Your lineup, based on last year's numbers, is stacked. We, however, do not know much about Rasmus, Ryan, or Schumaker, so we will have to keep an eye on how they do. The good thing is you have Felipe Lopez in case any of them fall off.

Best Director - Albert Pujols

Pujols clearly makes anyone batting in front of him and behind him better, so him staying healthy is everything to the Cardinals.

Best Actor - Matt Holliday

How will Holliday handle the fact he just got a huge contract? I don't think he could have a bad year even if he tried batting behind Pujols.

Best Supporting Actor - Adam Wainwright and Chris Carpenter

There is no way around this: if Wainwright and Carpenter get hurt, the Cardinals have no pitching.

Chicago Cubs

The Positive

By all logic, there is no way Alfonso Soriano and Geovany Soto can be as bad as they were last season and with Aramis Ramirez having a nice comeback last season after his injury, one would think he will be fine as well.

On the other side, there is no way Carlos Zambrano can have as bad of a season as well.

Marlon Byrd, although extremely overpaid, but who would expect anything different from Jim Hendry, will at least sure up the defense in the outfield. With Byrd and Fukudome in the outfield, one just hopes no one hits the ball to left.

Starlin Castro seems to be the real deal and the Cubs have done well not claiming him to be the Messiah as they've done in the past with Mark Prior, Kerry Wood, and Corey Patterson.

He will definitely get a shot to play this season and will fix a big hole at second base currently filled by Mike Fontenot (Ryan Theriot will move to second).

The Negative

Ted Lilly, the Cubs' most reliable pitcher, is going to miss time due to surgery. This puts a lot of pressure on Zambrano to act his age, Dempster to act more like the Cub from two years ago as opposed to last season, and Randy Wells to be just as good as he was in his impressive rookie season.

The Cubs also have no really good options for their fourth and fifth starter position while Lilly is gone. Put that together with a terrible bullpen and you're in for some fireworks.

At least there will be no discussion over who will be the closer. By default, and with no Kevin Gregg, Carlos Marmol has to be.

Best Director - Carlos Zambrano

You can only listen to how good a guy can be for so long without pointing to things outside the game as reasons why he’s only as good as he is.

Best Actor - Derrek Lee

Lee had one of the quietest incredible seasons last year batting .306 with 35 home runs and 111 RBI. If you get this Lee mixed with a healthy Aramis Ramirez, the Cubs lineup will be set in the middle.

Best Supporting Actor - Alfonso Soriano and Geovany Soto

With health not being a factor, we can predict what Aramis Ramirez and Derrek Lee will do. However, the wildcards are Soriano and Soto. Good seasons from them makes the Cubs lineup one of the best in the NL.

Milwaukee Brewers

The Positive

You have Prince Fielder and Ryan Braun on the same team.

Although you lost Mike Cameron in center, you got Carlos Gomez, who has amazing range and a cannon for an arm.

You had a great year out of Casey McGehee last season and by all logic, Corey Hart can’t nearly be as bad as he was last season.

You are getting Rickie Weeks back, who, before getting injured, was having a very nice season last year.

You also have young talent in Matt Gamel and Alides Escobar.

You added Randy Wolf and Doug Davis to your rotation to give support to
Yovani Gallardo.

You bring your two best relievers back in Trevor Hoffman and Todd Coffey, while adding LaTroy Hawkins.

The Negative

Dave Bush (6.38 ERA), Jeff Suppan (5.29 ERA) and Manny Parra (6.36 ERA) are your choices for the other two starting pitching spots.

Between Rickie Weeks, Carlos Gomez and Corey Hart, this team is going to strike out a lot.

Best Director - Rickie Weeks

With Braun and Fielder assuring us what they are going to do, Weeks has to stay healthy and actually hit for an entire season. The Brewers are getting tired of waiting for him.

Best Actor - Yovani Gallardo

He's the ace of the staff and without Gallardo, the Brewers are done for.

Best Supporting Actor - Randy Wolf and Doug Davis

Are we getting the Wolf and Davis from last season or was that just a fluke for a contract?

Houston Astros

The Positive

You still have Roy Oswalt and Wandy Rodriguez.

Michael Bourn and Hunter Pence are proving to be the real deals to go along with the steady numbers of Carlos Lee and Lance Berkman.

Kaz Matsui is also returning from injury for a full season.

Pedro Feliz was a nice addition at third base for the defense as well.

The Negative

You lost Miguel Tejada's numbers from last season and Jose Valverde as your closer. You now have a giant hole at shortstop along with a revolving door at the closer position for either Brandon Lyon or Matt Lindstrom.

Carlos Lee and Lance Berkman's numbers were down last season. Those two are the Astros' offense.

Pitching-wise, Oswalt is coming off the worst season of his career and there are open spots at the third, fourth, and fifth starter positions, which will most likely be filled by Brett Meyers, Brian Moehler and 25-year-old Bud Norris.

Best Director - Roy Oswalt

Oswalt needs to have a bounce back season for the Astros to have any thoughts of competing.

Best Actor - Michael Bourn

Bourn has to set the table for the bats behind him while playing in a tough center field.

Best Supporting Actor - Lance Berkman and Carlos Lee

The Astros go where these two do. There is no room for down years.

Cincinnati Reds

The Positive

You are solid defensively in the infield with Scott Rolen and Orlando Cabrera to go along with Brandon Phillips and Joey Votto.

You still have Joey Votto and Brandon Phillips. You got a great year out of Jonny Gomes last year as well.

You have young talent in the outfield in the 26-year-old Drew Stubbs and the 23-year-old Jay Bruce.

By all logic Johnny Cueto and Aaron Harang cannot be as bad as last year, which will help if Bronson Arroyo can put together the same year as last year. Homer Bailey, at 23 years old, showed some strides as a starting pitcher as well.

Your four big guns in the bullpen in Francisco Cordero (2.16 ERA), Nick Masset (2.37 ERA), Danny Herrera (3.06 ERA) and Arthur Rhodes (2.53 ERA) are all back.

The Negative

You are coached by Dusty Baker.

Jay Bruce was awful last year along with Micah Owings.

Gomes is on the wrong side of 30.

Perhaps Cueto is going to follow the Edison Volquez path and maybe all the innings are catching up to Harang.

Best Director - Joey Votto

Votto is the main part of the Reds’ offense and if he doesn't get help from Jay Bruce, if Jonny Gomez falls, he, along with Brandon Phillips, are the entire
Reds' offense.

Best Actor - Aaron Harang

I can't see Bronson Arroyo having the same year he did last season, so Harang is going to need to turn things around.

Best Supporting Actor - Johnny Cueto

See Best Actor award.

Pittsburgh Pirates

The Positive

Andrew McCutchen and Garrett Jones for a full season.

Paul Maholm (4.44 ERA), Zach Duke (4.06 ERA), and Ross Ohlendorf (3.92 ERA) weren't bad last year and are 27, 26, and 26, respectively.

The Negative

There is no power on your team. Jones led the team with 21 home runs last year in 82 games.

Your pitching staff after the above three is terrible with the above three not being that great either.

Your bullpen is made up of Octavio Dotel, Joel Hanrahan, Chris Jakubauskas, and Evan Meek, which are fun names to say, but not fun pitchers to point at.

Best Director - Andrew McCutchen

All Pittsburgh Pirates' fans have their eyes on McCutchen and for good reason.

Best Actor - Zach Duke

Will Zach Duke ever return to his dominant pitching form? Perhaps he could if the Pirates did not change his delivery after his amazing first season.

Best Supporting Actor - Garrett Jones

Jones hit 21 home runs in 82 games for the Pirates last year.

NL WEST - Los Angeles Dodgers

The Positive

You have Manny Ramirez for a full season while Matt Kemp, James Loney and Andre Eithier get better every year.

Chad Billingsley should rebound after last season and you still have Clayton Kershaw and Hiroki Kuroda, while picking up Vicente Padilla. James McDonald, at 26 years old, will fight for a position in the starting staff as well.

You actually improved your bullpen somehow by adding George Sherrill to Jonathan Broxton (2.61 ERA), Ramon Troncoso (2.72 ERA), and Ronald Belisario (2.04 ERA)

You easily have the best offense in the division along with Kershaw, Billingsley, and Kuroda to go along with a great bullpen.

The Negative

You lost Randy Wolf, who was a very reliable starting pitcher along with Orlando Hudson who was very reliable second baseman. Watching Ronnie Belliard is like watching a rolly poley play second base.

It also appears as though Russell Martin, who had a down season last year, will be injured to start the season.

Best Director - Manny Ramirez

Imagine this offense with Ramirez for a full season.

Best Actor - Matt Kemp

Kemp is on the verge of an even bigger season than he had last year. If he somehow gets better, he and Ethier are going to be impossible to pitch around with Ramirez, Loney, and Blake in the lineup as well.

Best Supporting Actor - Chad Billingsley

With Wolf gone, Billingsley has to rebound to give the Dodgers another great pitcher next to Clayton Kershaw.

Colorado Rockies

The Positive

You have 28-year-old Jorge de la Rosa, 26-year-old Jason Hammell, and 25-year-old Ubaldo Jimenez to go along with hopefully a healthy Aaron Cook and Jeff Francis.

The Rockies return all their big bats along with having 26-year-old Seth Smith and 23-year-old Dexter Fowler for an entire season.

The Negative

The Rockies need rebound years from 24-year-old Ian Stewart and 26-year-old Chris Iannetta, who both showed signs of progress last season, but were inconsistent.

The bullpen does not have one pitcher below a four ERA besides closer Huston Street.

As for the starting pitching, Aaron Cook and Jeff Francis need to provide some stability to go along with the young rotation.

Best Director - Troy Tulowitzki

After a monster return season last year, how will Tulowitzki be this season? Tulowitzki needs to be stable for this Rockies’ lineup.

Best Actor - Aaron Cook

The Rockies could sure use the Cook from two seasons ago.

Best Supporting Actor - Dexter Fowler and Seth Smith

A full season with these two should give the Rockies a far more stable lineup. The Rockies don't want to see two full-season sophomore slumps.

San Francisco Giants

The Positive

Tim Lincecum and Matt Cain.

Barry Zito had a nice season last year, as did Jonathan Sanchez.

Pablo Sandoval is the real deal.

You added Mark DeRosa and Aubrey Huff to a team with absolutely no offense.

You have arguably the best setup man from last year in Jeremy Affeldt returning, along with Brandon Medders and closer Brian Wilson, to the bullpen.

The Negative

Your offense is extremely weak.

The additions of DeRosa and Huff would be nice for teams that have power guys already, but you are looking at Huff, DeRosa and Rowand to be your power guys behind Sandoval and Bengie Molina.

That simply won't work.

It's unfortunate to see such a great pitching rotation wasted on the fact there is no scoring.

Best Director - Pablo Sandoval

The entire offense begins and ends with Sandoval.

Best Actor - Barry Zito

Will Barry Zito give the Giants a number three behind Lincecum and Cain?

Best Supporting Actor - The rest of the lineup outside Sandoval

Someone really needs to score for this team.

Arizona Diamondbacks

The Positive

You are prime for a comeback season.

You added Adam LaRoche and Kelly Johnson to a team that had great seasons from Mark Reynolds and Justin Upton.

You have Miguel Montero for a full season.

You added Edwin Jackson to a starting rotation that will get Brandon Webb back and already has Dan Haren.

You bolstered your bullpen a bit by getting Bob Howry and Aaron Heilmann to go along with Chad Qualls and Juan Gutierrez.

The Negative

You need comeback seasons from Webb, Stephen Drew, and Conor Jackson along with some kind of support from Chris Young.

You lost Max Scherzer, Jon Garland, and Doug Davis.

You're asking for Ian Kennedy and Kevin Mulvey most likely to be your fourth and fifth starters.

Your bullpen, although bolstered, is still extremely shaky.

Best Director - Brandon Webb

His return to ace standards is a must for the Diamondbacks to compete.

Best Actor - Justin Upton and Mark Reynolds

How will the two play after having the best seasons of their careers and in the case of Upton, getting paid?

Best Supporting Actor - Stephen Drew and Edwin Jackson

Drew needs to get back on track after a bad season last year and Jackson should be a great addition to the rotation.

San Diego Padres

The Positive

Adrian Gonzalez.

The Negative

Pretty much everything, but Adrian Gonzalez.

You have some young talent on your team, but as for this year, there is no chance.

Your current pitching staff is made up of most team's fourth starters in Kevin Correia, Jon Garland, Chris Young, Mat Latos and Clayton Richard.

Your bullpen is essentially Heath Bell with younger pitchers trying to make names for themselves.

Best Director - Adrian Gonzalez

What can the Padres get for Adrian Gonzalez?

Best Actor - The Youngins

Everth Cabrera, Kyle Blanks, and Chase Headley could show some progress to give Padres' fans some signs of life.

Best Supporting Actor – The Pitching Youngins

Clayton Richard, Tim Stauffer, Mat Latos, Wade LeBlanc, along with the entire bullpen, minus Heath Bell, could also give the Paders' fans some hope for the future.

And The Playoffs Go To...

We are looking at a playoff featuring the New York Yankees, Boston Red Sox, Minnesota Twins, and Seattle Mariners in the American League and the Philadelphia Phillies, St. Louis Cardinals, Los Angeles Dodgers and Colorado Rockies in the National League.

The locks would have to be the Yankees, Phillies, Cardinals, and Dodgers, with the AL Central, AL West and both wildcards being up in the air.

Don’t think I would put you prediction-loving goons through all that without telling you the result of the playoffs.

In the American League, the Yankees beat the Twins in the ALDS and the Mariners, who beat the Red Sox in the ALDS, in the ALCS.

In the National League, the Phillies beat the Rockies in the NLDS and the Cardinals, who beat the Dodgers, in the NLCS.

The Yankees beat the Phillies in seven games winning back-to-back World Series Championships…I feel a little dirty saying that.

I would like to thank Bleacher Report for allowing me to write this and for actually publishing it. I'd like to thank my friends, my family, the academy, and you people for actually reading it.

Mom, this one is for you. Thanks for letting me stay in your basement.

Brother Rice football rules.

I can't believe my speech didn't awkwardly get cut off by that awful musi