FIA: Anything They Can Do, We Can Do Better
To us normal folk, the F.I.A is commonly known as a governing body for motorsports. They are the body who make executive decisions on the sports that we love, and we trust that they will make the right decisions. We expect them to take care of our sports.
Yet there is an air of arrogance surrounding them today as their decision to admit their mistake of giving US F1 an entry to the 2010 Formula 1 season was carelessly undone by their inability to accept a team who were raring to go. Stefan GP even had a former World Champion ready to follow Michael Schumacher into an unexpected comeback.
So in a word the F.I.A are fools.
Jean Todt may be a new president after the controversy surrounding Max Mosely and his private life, yet in his and his senates disregard for the opinion of Bernie Ecclestone and many F1 pundits, he has made himself look clumsy and utterly unworthy of his title.
So here are my top three alternative candidates for his position when the re-elections for the F.I.A presidency take place in 2013.
Noel Edmonds & Mr Blobby (President & Vice President)
Well Noel is experienced in the spotlight, used to intense action, and is accomplished in keeping raving lunatics in the best possible shape. So why not let him run the organisation that is all about the competition.
He’s also sure to put on a good party after his days at Crinkley Bottom with best friend and former music star Mr Blobby. He could gunge those who misbehave instead of applying the banal and disruptive penalties that often alter the result of a Grand Prix after its climax.
At a races climax gone would be the teams national anthems and in would come the Deal or No Deal theme tune music.
Amidst all of the chaos, confetti and gunge would be a greater stranglehold on motorsport than a stripper to a pole. And if not, well at least we had a good time.
Pat Sharp & The Pit Babes
Imagine the drivers racing round tracks picking up tokens along the way at designated areas throughout the circuit – marvellous. Having a president governing the sport of Formula 1 who’s hair outclasses any sort of madness seen with Bernie Ecclestone would gain plenty of media interest.
And you wouldnt lose the pit babes also. Pat Sharp has two of them, twins as well, to keep the drivers and the audience occupied before a race opener.
At the end of it all we get controlled fun with a timer and a challenge that requires the competitors to rise to the occasion if they want to sieze best prizes on store.
Simon Cowell & Co
Yes, get the drivers, get the teams, get the rest of the F.I.A senate to audition in front of Simon, Randy, Kara, Louis, Piers or anyone to appear on a judging panel with Mr Cowell.
Although he’d try and sell us the cheesiest and most overproduced pile of ‘talent’ that he could find at least we would know that for the short term he would put everything into making the sport a success.
Just a shame with Simon that when something better comes a long he would leave the sport on the scrap heap alongside the likes of Leon Jackson, George Sampson and Steve Brookstein.
However looking at the likes of US F1 who could not put early promise into fruition this may not necesarily be a bad thing.
Where Does Your Vote Lie?
So there you have it. Three established talents that could show Mr Todt a thing or two about making informed and valued opinions. Obviously this whole article is one based on sarcasm and anger, but if anything it should highlight another decision made by the F.I.A that goes against common sense and decency. So therefore I’m just seeing it as returning the favour!