The Poker Gods' Ten Commandments

Mitchell CogertContributor IMarch 1, 2010

The Poker Gods' Ten Commandments

1. We are your Poker Gods. You shall have no other gods before us, or you will be punished with more than your fair share of bad beats.

2. You shall not make wrongful use of the name of your Poker Gods. Blame "Jebus" and not us.

3. Remember the World Series of Poker in Las Vegas and keep it holy.

4. Honor your father and mother, since you may be asking them for money to get into your next poker satellite.

5. You shall not murder unless you catch someone cheating you at the poker table. Die cheaters, die.

6. You shall not commit adultery unless you are really, really horny.

7. You shall not steal. Beating up the fish at your table only feels like stealing.

8. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. That means you Prahlad! Don't accuse someone of not putting in his ante, unless you are 100 percent certain.

9. You shall not covet your neighbor's wife, unless she performs in internet porn.

10. You shall follow these sacrilegious rules or your Aces will be cracked more often than the eggs at a Denny's Free Grand Slam Breakfast day.

Oh, hell, for the religious right who are offended, you can read more infamy at my How to Win a Poker Tournament blog.