Achieving success as a head coach in college football is far from an exact science. There is no secret recipe, magic formula, or little blue pill.
As such, those men who reach the sport’s summit—as well as those who struggle to do so—come from various backgrounds and run the gamut with diverging personalities, demeanors, tactics, and practices.
If you were to line up, say, the 10 best head coaches in college football, you’d likely be hard-pressed to encounter any two that are alike. Some are strict disciplinarians who border upon sadists. Some take pride in adopting the modern philosophy of befriending today’s collegiate athlete. Others even attempt to combine the two, hopeful of achieving a silky blend of traditional power figure and new-age conformist.
Surely, there are numerous ways in which to classify coaches, beginning with the conferences, divisions, and sub-divisions in which they work. But how boring is that?
What if, instead of lumping coaches together in groups, we singled them out, using the complex dynamics that make each unique and therefore differentiate one coach from the next?
And what if we did this by defining each coach by the beer that most closely resembles his personality, track record, teaching style, work ethic, and anything else that goes into breeding success?
Yeah, I’m not really sure how well it’s going to work, either. But let’s try.
Note: Titles and descriptions of beers provided by BeerAdvocate.com.