Top Story: Training Bros
Spring training...is there anything like it?
It always starts the same. Everyone is smiling. Everyone is talking about how they haven’t felt this good in years. There is hope in the air. Fun and games abound.
Detroit is no different. Johnny Damon is everyone’s best friend. Miguel Cabrera is a clown. Magglio Ordonez is looking buff and talking about playing four more years. Zoom’s a new man. Carlos Guillen doesn't mind being a DH all of a sudden. Things are looking up.
And then the third base coach runs over the manager’s foot and breaks his toe. I love the Tigers.
For your enjoyment, here is a collection of my favorite photos posted by the Detroit News and the Detroit Free Press from spring training the past couple days. Head over to either site to view them all. All photos are by Julian Gonzalez of the Freep and Robin Buckson of the News.
As for the dumb captions underneath them, that’s my gift to you. Enjoy.
"Late night, huh? Are the White Sox in town?"
"Dude, I don't care if your grandpa thinks it's funny. Quit grabbing my ass."
"Did you hear? Carlos says he doesn't mind DHing."
Little did Nate know, but Dombrowski offered Nate's $10 million to whoever killed him first.
"I wish I could quit you."
"Uh oh! Jose made boom boom in pants."
"But in Boston, the ladies like 'The Shocker.'"
"Ha ha...I farted again."
"Freeze! Police! Don't move, Laird!"
He can't be any worse than Don Kelly up there.
"Yeah, I know. They keep paying me, too. Ahh, hahahaha..."
In Other News
-Vodka and Pineapple, Please
Former Tiger failure Dane Sardinha was arrested by Clearwater, FL police this week for a DUI. He spent around six hours in jail before being released on a $250 bond. I only post this because I hate Dane Sardinha and hope they give him the electric chair. (Sorry again, Dusty.)
-Mighty Casey Has Struck Out
In the wake of the Johnny Damon signing, relief pitcher Casey Fien was designated for assignment to make room for JD on the 40-man roster. I didn’t realize the guy was already 26 years old. We’ll see what happens to him. Meanwhile, Don Kelly still has a spot. Sigh.
-A Moment in the Life of Your Party Host
As I have mentioned here in the past, in the real world I run a sports bar in southeast Michigan. The following is an actual conversation that took place the other day between myself and some guy sitting at the bar that saw me walk out in my Tigers hat. This guy appeared to be in his 40s and had the glorious mustache of a date rapist.
GUY: Tigers fan, huh?
ME: No. I like the Astros. I just found this hat outside.
ME: Nothing. I was kidding. Yeah, I’m a Tigers fan.
GUY: Me too. Man, they’re gonna suck this year.
ME: Eh, they’ll be okay. No one in the Central is that good. I actually think they’re a better team than they were last year.
GUY: I don’t even know who any of these new guys they have are. They suck.
ME: Well, we’ll see. I’m more excited about next year. Most of the big useless contracts will finally be gone. And we might finally be done with Brandon Inge, too.
GUY: What? I love Inge! He’s awesome.
ME: Yeah, I hear that a lot but don’t get it. The guy can’t hit. And he’s overrated in the field, too.
GUY: What are you talking about? He hit .309 in 2006!
ME: No he didn’t.
GUY: Yes he did.
ME: No. He didn’t. He hit around .250, dude. (It was .253.) Look, I’ve kind of got some things to do...
GUY: You think I’m an idiot? Inge is my favorite player! He hit .309 in ’06, man. I remember because I was betting a buddy at the end of the year if he’d finish over .300.
ME: My bad, man. Take care.
This is why I drink. I picture guys like this posting comments at mLive, Yahoo!, and on the Tigers home page. Ever read those comments? Look at what poor Ian had to deal with this week.
-Always A Tiger News via MLB Trade Rumors
The San Diego Padres signed Eric Munson to a minor league deal. Munson, as you may remember, was quite possibly the worst fielding third baseman in Tiger history a few years back. He has been a backup and minor league catcher in recent years. His brother, Roy, was profiled in the bowling movie Kingpin years ago.
Really...that’s it this week? Who is still a free agent that has played in Detroit? Glad you asked.
Paul Bako, catcher
Tony Clark, first base
Gary Sheffield, left field
Jarrod Washburn, pitcher
Troy Percival, relief pitcher
Jamie Walker, relief pitcher
Retirement is probably a possibility for all of them, with the exception of Washburn. I do hope that Sheff signs somewhere. He’s always good for material.
-Congrats to Lee over at Tiger Tales . Lee’s got a book called Beyond Batting Average that just came out, and you really should buy it immediately. Unlike most of us crappy bloggers, Lee knows his stuff and is the resident sabermetrics guy among the Tiger community. Why are you still reading my nonsense? Go buy Lee’s book!
-Fernando Rodney says that Game 163 affected the interest in his services as a free agent. I’m pretty sure the fact that Fernando Rodney sucks had a bit more to do with it.
-Kurt has put together a great look at the Tiger offseason and the reasoning behind the moves they made. Check it out.
-All Tiger moves this offseason are right here in case you've been living under a rock. Weirdo.
Until our next adventure...