"Behold, the winter is past; the rain is over and gone. The flowers appear on the earth, the time of singing has come, and the voice of the turtledove is heard in our land."
The wise king Solomon, the poet/lover once uttered these words–giving voice to the warm fuzzies that overtake us all with the advent of spring.
It's not Solomon's fault that baseball wasn't invented yet. Actually, that probably gave him more time to concentrate on his romantic ventures.
Here's my rephrasing of his beautiful words, and I hope I can do them justice.
"Behold, football is past; the snow-bowls are over and gone. The smell of cured leather permeates the air, the arguments about steroids have resurfaced, and the voice of John Sterling is hated in our land."
With everything that is good and bad about baseball now taking forefront in our minds, I wanted to take a few minutes and sober us all up about the few evils that baseball has introduced to the world, in the form of ... The New York Yankees.
Without further ado, the Eight Worst Things About the Evil Empire.
Two words for you. Ka. Ching.
Easily known as the most extravagant team in baseball, the Yankees solution to any problem seems to be: "Just throw some green at it, it'll be all better."
The face of the kaching?
My friends, you're looking at him. While I sure wouldn't mind this guy signing my paychecks, Steinbrenner personifies "big money" baseball. Oh yeah, and he has the rings to validate his philosophy.
Some of us hate truth. This is one truth I hate: money buys championships. So by extension, I have to dislike the poster child for that axiom.
To put words to this would be to insult your intelligence.
I do not hate Derek Jeter.
I hate that the Yankees have Derek Jeter.
Just admit it. Every baseball fan in the world would love to have Jeter on his team. Works hard, keeps his mouth shut, not even close to tainted by 'roid allegations, single as Mike Tyson's brain cell (until recently, that is), so no scandals to taint his rep.
Just a class act all around. Overrated? You could make your case. But who works harder, and conducts himself with as much class?
I'm a huge Torre fan, and thank goodness for him he got out of the Evil Empire.
My gripe with the Yankees here is simply this: they didn't have to do him like that.
Torre is one of the classiest (and winningest) managers in history, and didn't deserve the exit he got from the Bronx.
I love seeing him in Dodger blue, if only because it contrasts well against the Yankee blue.
Boras associations taint every team.
Perhaps baseball's most unscrupulous, moneygrubbing, whining-when-he-doesn't-get-his-way agent, I just had to include him here because his dealings involving A-Rod have taken the word "scumsucker" to new heights ... or new lows.
The two deserve each other.
Is it possible to dislike anyone more than George Steinbrenner?
At least this dude's rich daddy kept his mouth (relatively) closed.
Whenever the heir-apparent to the Evil Empire opens his mouth ... well, I'll just let his own words speak for him.
"Red Sox Nation? What a bunch of bull**** that is ... Go anywhere in America and you won't see Red Sox hats and jackets, you'll see Yankee hats and jackets. This is a Yankee country. We're going to put the Yankees back on top and restore the universe to order."
Yes, by that Hank quote, you guessed my bias.
The number one reason I hate the Yankees is because the Red Sox are the most awesomest team in history (Don't delete that word, editors! Awesomest exists in my lexicon - yes, I know the word lexicon.).
I'll say it again.
Red Sox are the most awesomest team ever, therefore I hate the Yankees.
How's that for logic?