Tiger Woods Press Conference: A Roar and a Message To a Tiger On The Prowl!

Harold BellContributor IIIFebruary 24, 2010

The legendary golfer Arnold Palmer warned Tiger Woods early in his career, “If you can’t stand the heat get out of the kitchen.” 


During a golf outing, Tiger complained to Palmer about the demand on his time from the fans wanting autographs and media requesting interviews.  He said, “The fans and the media are becoming a little too much for me, I want to be normal.”


Palmer paused and looked Tiger right in his eyes and said, “Son if you want to be normal give all the money back and play golf on the weekends with your buddies.”


Tiger, you never took Palmer’s advice to give the money back.  Instead of signing autographs and giving interviews, you took on another role that had nothing to do with golf.  You became “Playboy Tiger Woods,” playing every waitress, cocktail hostess, and whore on the pro tour you could find. 


You started your own hotel match play titled “Tiger’s All Hoe Tournament.”  Your entry fee requirements were blond hair and blue eyes.  The hoes that didn’t make the cut were a darker shade of pale, wore a weave, afro, or a wig.  Artificial contact lens was allowed if they met all the other requirements.


I find it rather ironic that as the month of February comes to a close, you chose it to make your entry back onto the national stage.  February is designated as “Black History Month” but according to you, you are not black. 


Tiger, you appeared on the Ophra Winfrey Show several years ago with your late father Earl and declared that you were Caliban-Asian!  You explained that you wanted to honor both your father’s heritage (Black) and your mother’s heritage (Asian), and that is where you lost me.  Tiger, growing up I was told that having one drop of black blood made you black in America!


Your father Earl taught you a great deal about the game called golf but he forgot to teach you about “The Game Called Life.” 


You have an identity problem and I think it would be a great idea to schedule a counseling session with Motown legend vocalist/poet Smokey Robinson.  Smokey appeared on Def Comedy Jam several years ago and his oral presentation of the origin of man titled “Black & Proud” is a classic and a masterpiece.  Check it out you might learn something about Black History.


Smokey’s American History lesson and poem should be required learning for every elementary, middle school, high school, and college curriculum in America.  If you are an insecure black brother/sister or in the mode of Russ Limbaugh, I think it is best you bypass this history lesson.  Your “Plantation Mentality” will not allow you to absorb the learning curve. 


Tiger, your mother is Asian and she is covered in your new found definition of black in America.  Smokey Robinson asked “who sits around and comes up with these different names for us anyway.”  It looks like you are one of those people.


Your father was black but what does Caliban have to do with being black?  In a state of confusion, I opened up the Bible of the spoken word, Webster’s Dictionary.  I found the following definition for the word Caliban: a savage and deformed slave in Shakespeare’s Tempest!  WOW!


This definition alone makes Smokey Robinson’s message a must see and hear. 


Michael Jackson said it best, “It makes no difference whether you are black or white.” 


Tiger, you need to hear Smokey, please click on the link below. http://www.openentrance.com/2008/03/13/smokey-robinson-on-def-poetry-jam/


Tiger, after you have finished your session or sessions with Smokey, you will need to follow-up and meet with black golfing Angels and legends, like Jim Thorpe, Calvin Peete, Charlie Sifford, and Lee Elder.  Hopefully they can better express what Arnold Palmer was trying to explain to you earlier. 


Tiger those golfing Angels kicked down the doors for you.  They were the pioneers who made the million dollar jackpots and endorsements deals possible for you to live like “The King of Golf.”  From a black prospective, the legends “have been there and done that.”  Their stories need to be told 365 days a year. It is a history lesson that you need to learn badly.


Tiger, we cannot continue to blame whites solely for the racist environment of America.  They don’t have a copyright on racism.  We have blacks in our community who could give Russ Limbaugh a run for his money.  If someone would provide the media with a snapshot of the guest at the Summit, you would see that you have an identity problem.  I saw one black face in the room.  It is often said, “A picture is worth a thousand words.”


Shortly after you were exposed and went into hiding, your friend and partner in this charade, TNT NBA color analyst Charles Barkley, gave you a “shout out” during half time of a game.  He said, “Tiger, give me a call if you need to talk–your friends are here for you.”  With friends like Barkley you don’t need golfers like Fuzzy Zoeller.


In the meantime, I am thinking your wife Elin has put two and two together.  Your close friends Charles and Michael Jordan were not seen at the Summit as friends or media guests.  I am betting that she has agreed to stay and try to make the marriage work with the stipulation that you kick friends like Barkley, Michael, and your caddy Steve Williams to the curb.  She knows that they were a part of “The Boys will be Boys Network."  They helped cover-up the hoe charade.  She will never feel comfortable around them again.


Your coming-out party and what it accomplished from my vantage point, you dug yourself into a deeper hole.  Your feeble efforts to try to explain the bruises on your face came from the car accident and had nothing to do with Elin was pathetic.  No one believes the story that your wife was using the golf club to break out the back window of the truck to rescue you.  I thought the attempt to cover-up the beat-down was the worst part of your speech.  Tiger, someone once said, “It's best to be thought a fool than open your mouth and remove all doubt.”


The first question someone from the media would have asked you, if you had allowed questions, is “Why was Elin trying to use the club to break out the back window of the truck out when you were seated in the driver’s seat?"  Tiger, you can’t insult people’s intelligence, especially media people.


You made a big mistake when you made the Summit “Invitation only.”  Tiger, you played right into the media’s hands. 


The Governor of South Carolina Mark Sanford, John Edwards (former Presidential candidate), and you have made tabloid media outlets sales sky rocket (sex sells and sleazy sex sells better).  The Enquirer Magazine and the television show TMZ are now considered a part of mainstream media.  They were not invited to the Summit and are now feeling like “second class media outlets”...a big mistake.


Main stream media for too long has protected the deviant behavior of superstar athletes, politicians, and entertainers.  Time has brought about a change and the internet is everywhere.  The Enquirer and TMZ are no longer the Roger Dangerfield (no respect) of the news media.  If the Enquirer wins a Pulitzer Prize they could have the last laugh.


Your attempt to tongue lash and talk down to the media for their blanket coverage of your home, children’s school, and following your mom was ill-advised and not well thought out.  Your prepared statement should have added “pretty please” to its content when you addressed the media.  You showed no humility or respect for what they do. They report the news and you are a part of the news, whether it is good, bad, or indifferent.  Your Tiger Woods’ controlled media days are over.


The first mistake you made in this charade was running off and hiding like a coward.  The second mistake was you hid out too long.  Tiger there is an old saying, “If you are going to play, you must pay.”


You are not the first superstar married athlete to have a mistress in every port.  Your friend Michael Jordan’s female conquests are legendary in NBA circles.  


Michael is now a minority owner of the NBA Charlotte Bobcats and looking to become its owner in the near future.  His divorce from his wife was page one tabloid material.  Remember, Wizards’ owner the late Abe Polin hired him to save his struggling NBA franchise?  Michael breathed new life into the team and made a ticket to a Wizard’s game the hottest ticket in the NBA.  He revived downtown business for DC, and for his efforts he was fired and run out of town.  He has recovered and moved on. 


Muhammad Ali had women following him around the world and back just to spend a night or day in his bed.  If you think the skies around the Chicago Airport are busy with planes in a holding pattern trying to land, you should have seen the women in the hotel lobbies where Ali was staying during his career. They were also trying to land–in his bed.


Ali, despite suffering from Parkinson's Disease, is celebrating 50 years on the world stage, and he is still one of the most popular athletes in the world.  People were willing to ignore or look the other way when Ali’s eyes were roaming from one woman to another.  I wonder why?  Could it be that Ali was a “touch & feel” superstar athlete that never placed himself above the boxing fans or everyday people?


Remember President Bill Clinton?  He was one of the most powerful men in the world: the President of the United States.


In a time period between November 1995 and March 1997, he and White House intern Monica Lewinsky had an intimate sexual relationship in the White House.  This was not Bill’s first sexual conquest while holding public office and his indiscretions put his wife Hillary in “the eye of the tiger." I am sure Elin can relate.  You both have a lot in common; he was the most powerful politician in the world and you were the most powerful athlete in the world.


Tiger, much like you, many of President Clinton’s colleagues and enemies were happy that he got caught with his pants down and had to face the music.  I know pro golfer Fuzzy Zoeller is somewhere celebrating your fall from grace with a fried chicken dinner and watermelon on the side!  He still has not gotten over you winning your first Masters Golf Tournament.  Fuzzy didn’t see you as a Caliban-Asian, he saw you as a colored boy who had just walked into his living room without an invitation.  I would bet if you drove pass Fuzzy’s home there is a replica of a black jockey in his front yard and a direct line to Russ Limbaugh.


The lies and sounds President Clinton made when he got caught were not music to our ears.  He lied, lied and lied, but the most famous lie he told was, “I did not have sex with that woman.”  His sexual encounters with Monica almost cost him the presidency.


Tiger, remember when Washington DC Mayor Marion Barry got caught trying to get his pants down and smoking crack cocaine in a downtown DC hotel?  His famous last words were, “The bitch set me up.”  Mayor Barry served time in jail and returned to DC and was voted back into office as the Mayor of the Nation's Capitol.  He is now a sitting DC City Councilman and the bitches are still setting him up.


Tiger, if Jordan, Ali, Clinton, and Barry can bounce back what is stopping you?


After the Summit I spent hours reading and watching the experts analyze your speech and many were clueless.  Most (75 percent) would swear the prepared speech you delivered was not sincere.  I am trying to figure out how they could have reached that conclusion when they readily admit that they don’t even know you.


Tiger, my advice is that your priorities should be your marriage and watching your babies grow.  You are financially secure enough to vacation all over the world with your family whenever the mood hits you.  See that your kids are home schooled and make sure you are around to see that they avoid the outside distractions that might stunt their growth.  Spend more time working with children at your foundations.  Surround yourself with children because they are more forgiving than adults.  This is the one and only way to take charge of your life again on your own terms.


Your return to play tournament golf any time soon would be a disaster.  You wouldn’t have any control.  The only thing a golf course can offer you is another major win, two dollars more, and another ego trip.  I don’t think another win, dollar, or ego trip would be worth the loss of your family.  Time is on your side and so are Golf’s Angels.  They can give you the reality check that you need.


Tiger, my advice to you is to check your ego at your home front door, ride off into the sunset, and tell everyone to take their golf clubs and stick them!


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