Missouri Football: You're Paid Off Now

Can Missouri fandom really be bought with a pizza? Matt Thiel explains.

by Matt Thiel (Columnist)

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Editorial

July 03, 2008

NCAA, College Football, Big 12 Football, Missouri Tigers Football, Editorial

While not on par with SMU or 'Bama paying players, around the Mizzourah offices we have decided to buy your fandom...with a pizza.

Actually, Sleezy made a co-worker into a Mizzou fan until 2010 via a Double Dave's Pizza and some stuff called 'Peproni Rolls.'  Mackey was apparently REALLY hungry—hungry enough to trade his fanhood in for a cardboard disc o' death.

Like me on a Friday night, the '08 Mizzou bandwagon is being fueled by pizza sauce.  The highlights of the pizza/Mizzou contract are as follows:

- Fan must root for Mizzou every game.

- Fan must respond to an "M-I-Z" with a "Z-O-U."  No excuses.

- Fan may chant "M-I-Z" if they believe that "Z-O-U" will be responded.

- Fan must purchase Mizzou T-shirt and wear it out in public if Mizzou is playing.

- On a game day, fan may wear a different shirt if he is by himself in his home, but cannot wear an opposing team's shirt.

Since Sleezy was part of this contract, and it is in proper English without spelling errors, I imagine the signer (Mackey) wrote the draft.  Give him a break on the 'Missouri University' thing (it's University of Missouri-Columbia to be all correct and stuff).  He'll learn.  He's got two years to do so.

Editorial

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About the Author Matt Thiel (columnist)

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