This article originally appeared on PhillyFanComplex.com.
Tiger and Elin (Nordegren? Woods? Woods-Nordegren?)
along with Tiger's lawyers, people, handlers, advisers, entourage, hangers-on, and Steve Williams
Invite you to take part in announcing a once-in-a-lifetime event
The Tiger Woods "I Play for Keeps" Tour
When: Friday, Feb. 19, 2010 at 11 am
Where: Your nearest television;
or, if you are a handpicked member of the media, in your assigned seat.
What to Bring: Nothing. The written statement in its entirety will be distributed to those in attendance.
Leave your questions, bias, judgment, criticism, and journalistic integrity at the door.
Rick Reilly, you are not invited. You have betrayed Tiger's trust and are forever damned.
Same goes for you, Buzz Bissinger.