The Dikembe Mutombo Mpolondo Mukamba Jean-Jacques Wamutombo Award

Many people in the United States decide for one reason or another that their given name is overplayed, too hard to pronounce, too long, misspelled, and for countless other reasons decide that it's time for a change.  It is only in sports in which people change their names in order to hide their criminal past.  Yes, although this is technically a minor offense, it is still an asshole move, because remember Ron Mexico is still Michael Vick, and Adam Jones.. is well, still Pacman Jones.  You can't just change your name like it's a dirty pair of underwear or a  jersey number and think everything's changed.   I for one will be referring to him as Jones, and hoping that he plays better than the running back who wore the same number and name before him.

The 1992 Angola National Team Award
United States 116 - Angola 48

There aren't a lot of things worse than running the score up on someone, but insulting them in the process is pretty high up on the list of assholeness. For example,  if you were asked to point to Angola on a map, you would more than likely insult them because who keeps up with where Angola is anyway? Let alone take the time to decide if the Angola National Team would play some sort of competitive basketball.   We award the New England Patriots with the team most likely to be rubbing salt in someone's wounds.  In organized sports it's one thing to win, but the Patriots were in the business of being professional assholes.

Let's look at their resume:

1. They signed Randy Moss for practically nothing, and got the #5 draft pick after a 19-1 season. 
   
2. They made a mockery of the AFC East division.
   
3. Three weeks in a row they provoked a team to cry in front of national Television cameras.