Like the offseason, we treat each workday as if our future depends on it. For us, some quotas have to be met before the deadline. For athletes, some dread the deadline. The deadline for athletes usually means the trade deadline or free agency deadline. For us, it means that if some reports, sales quotas, columns and goals are not met by a certain time, it’s bad news for us.

And for those of us who have that bad news on the horizon, the boss usually comes around to give us a stern warning. In sports, that bad news comes from the coaches. Case in point comes to mind from the movie “Office Space.” Their boss gets on them about TPS Reports. Coaches get on their players about playbooks.

Once five o’clock rolls around, it’s halftime for some athletes and quitting time for some of us. We revert back to the end of the first quarter with drag races and NASCAR to the gym.

Third Quarter: After Work and Before the Nightlife

Before the seasons start, it’s either spring training and/or training camp for the athletes. We try to mimic our favorite athletes by going to the gym and impressing the people that are there. This is in hopes of getting their approvals. For the guys, they try to hit the weights they know they can’t handle. For the girls, they spend those times in the sauna and the tanning salons for the chance of showing the night bodies.

They spend a little over two hours trying to prepare for the evening of competition that consists of everything from bodybuilding competitions to aerobics exercises.

Fourth Quarter: Nightlife

Every guy can relate to this scenario: You’re at the bar having drinks with friends. A beautiful woman walks by, and all of a sudden, you turn into Mr. Macho. Just like hot dog eating contests try to find the best guy to woof down hot dogs without throwing up the food from last night.

In this case, guys do anything from American Idol-style karaoke to arm wrestling to quick games of 8-Ball Pool. Both men and women athletes know that when the fourth quarter comes around, it’s crunch time. Men and women non-athletes know that they will only have that last shot to make that big impression.

The ladies take Yoga to handle the dance moves they’ll do in the club hence the aerobics. The men hit the gyms to make room for the shots they’ll take to show that they can handle whatever comes in their path.

When the game is over, the athletes hit the showers and hit the streets. Even though we go about it different ways, we all try to do it with the same ending. Win or lose, we’re just like athletes.

Like athletes, we compete for jobs and promotions. Like athletes, we compete for success and victory. Like athletes, we compete for love, attention and affection. When you think about it, athletes are just us...with more expensive cars, bigger houses, bigger paychecks, and for some, free rides through the judicial system.

This is why life is the ultimate sport. Everyday we compete for the thrill of victory that comes from surviving the workday. We compete for the pleasure of winning the heart of that special someone. Our championship: Employee of the Month Awards, parking spaces, a good dental plan and validated parking. Theirs: A trophy that makes them the best for that year.

Need I say more?

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