Open-Mic: What's A Sport?‏

Semantics is a funny thing. Over time the meanings of words evolve. For example, there once was a man named Guy Fawkes who tried to blow up Parliament in 1605. He failed, got caught, and was sentenced to death. Note that to this day he is considered the only man to enter the legislature with honest intentions. As an insult, the word "guy" started being used to describe shady men such as criminals and thugs. Then it became a more general word to describe any man, and today it is even used to describe women as in, "What are you guys doing?".

Take the word "awesome". "Awesome" is a word that has become diluted. It's intent is to describe incredible wonders such as the Grand Canyon and God's almightiness. But now someone hands you a nifty ball-point pen and you say, "Wow! This is awesome!" The word has become diluted.

Just like the word "awesome" the meaning of "sport" has also become diluted. Football is a sport. Yahtzee is not. But why? What we need is a working definition to help us determine what activities are sports and what are not...

My definition of a sport:
Sport: noun, any wholly, bodily-kinetic, competitive event where participants interact with each other, or alter the game state, dynamically in real-time, for the purpose of gaining advantage with opposing end goals of winning the contest.


I've broken my definition into three easy to apply criteria.....In order to be considered a "sport" all three of the following criteria must be met:

1. Competitive: Is the event a competition with opposing end goals of winning the contest?
2. Physically Dynamic: Is the event wholly, bodily-kinetic? Meaning; do the competitors move and use their whole bodies as part of the contest?
   
3. Real-time: Do the competitors have to interact and with each other in real-time, or are they changing the game state for their opponent in real-time in order to get an advantage?

Now before I make some people's feelings hurt, and before I'm accused of causing mischief. I'd like to make it absolutely clear that I am not trying to belittle any activity that my definition excludes from sporthood. Ok?

So using the criteria...

Is Basketball a sport? Yes.

1. Competitive: Yes
2. Physically Dynamic: Yes
   
3. Real-time: Yes

Obviously Football, Baseball, Soccer, Lacrosse, Hockey, Volleyball, Rugby, Boxing, Fencing, etc. are sports. If you're not sure, apply the criteria. So, Let's take a look at those contests that are up for debate...

Poker? No.

1. Competitive: Yes
2. Physically Dynamic: No
   
3. Real-time: You could argue it but no.
   

Ping-pong? Yes.

1. Competitive: Yes
2. Physically Dynamic: Yes
3. Real-time: Yes

Ping-pong, or more properly - Table Tennis, at the elite level is immeasurably more intense than the casual game you played in the basement with your mom, dad and cousin Timmy. Just YouTube the elite players such as Ma Lin or Wang Hao. You'll notice incredible agility, footwork and power combined with intense competitive emotion.

Billiards?  No.

1. Competitive: Yes
   
2. Physically Dynamic: Not really
   
3. Real-Time: No

Golf? No.

1. Competitive: Yes
2. Physically Dynamic: Just barely.
   
3. Real-time: No way

Before your golfer fury gets you into trouble with Bob Barker, imagine an exciting football play...with a hard hit. Now imagine a close game in the Final Four...60 seconds on the clock, down by 2, full court press. Is golf really the same kind of activity? It is not. Golf is a game of skill. It fails the real-time test. You're playing against the course. There is no competitive interaction. No defense. Each competitor just plays as well as he/she can and whoever does it in the least strokes wins. You don't even have to see your opponent to lose to him. Not a sport. A game of skill.

Wii Sports Boxing? No.

1. Competitive: Yes
2. Physically Dynamic: No...but close
   
3. Real-time: Yes

Footwork is not part of Wii boxing. Many people play it from their couch. It just isn't "wholly, bodily-kinetic". It's close though. This is startling because standard video games clearly are not sports. Sorry Madden fanatics. But Wii Sports Boxing came close to making the cut. I suppose a full virtual reality game could be considered a sport by my definition. Nintendo isn't there yet, so until then, we'll continue to go outside to play.

Auto Racing? No.

1. Competitive: Yes
2. Physically Dynamic: Not quite
3. Real-time: Yes

Again, I'm not denying the skill or the intrigue. I'm just defining "sport". This one truly was close but racing, although physically demanding, cannot be considered physically dynamic. You can't justify that it is a "wholly, bodily-kinetic, competitive event". The driver moves his arms, feet, and head, but not his or her (didn't forget Danica) whole body. Compare Auto Racing's whole body involvement to three hours of two-player Wii Sports Boxing... Wii Boxing requires no footwork. Auto Racing requires no getting off your bum.

Olympic Track Events, Swimming, Speed Skating, etc? No.

1. Competitive: Yes
2. Physically Dynamic:Yes
3. Real-time: I'm a little torn, but I'll say 'no'.

They are trying to get to the finish before their opponent in real-time, but unlike hockey the event could be run one competitor at a time. You couldn't have one hockey team play their game on Tuesday and their opponent play on Wednesday. The real-time aspect of these racing events is immaterial and the outcome is not dependent on real-time alterations of the game state. At least in auto racing the racers interact with each other.

One may argue that seeing a real-time opponent just ahead of you inspires you to dig and strain for more speed, but you can always just imagine someone ahead of you when you're alone on the track. In dog racing they use a mechanical rabbit for this purpose.

Competitive Eating? No.

1. Competitive: Yes
2. Physically Dynamic: No
3. Real-time: No

All I'm saying is that the line has to be drawn...or else Yahtzee becomes a sport. We are the tenants of the English language. Let's not allow the word 'sport' to become diluted.