Fencing, The Next Important Martial Art?

jason hughesCorrespondent IFebruary 13, 2010

WASHINGTON - SEPTEMBER 16:  U.S. President Barack Obama jokingly attacks Olympic fencer Tim Morehouse during a fencing demonstration on the South Lawn of the White House promoting the city of Chicago�s bid for the 2016 Summer Olympics September 16, 2009 in Washington, DC. Obama joined Chicago Mayor Richard Daley, members of the USOC, and representatives from the Chicago2016 group during the event.  (Photo by Win McNamee/Getty Images)
Win McNamee/Getty Images

   Perfect form might I add. Well in the wake of all of today's big announcements I am quite tired and really just want a little break from all the drama that has unfolded.

   So I am going to introduce everyone to the next big thing, a martial art that has gone unoticed since the days of mid evil knights and men in tights.

   Story short, I am looking at a list of world wide martial arts and one in particular caught my eye, fencing, yes the pugalistic sport of men in spandex poking each other in the ass with flimsy welding rods.

   Here me out, in England this is a martial art, why, because it adapts to the cage so perfectly, as long as you are not using combat fencing of course, that could kill a man and safety is paramount .

  If Machida can bring sumo to the cage why can't the art of moving your hips to avoid a rushing mad man be any different, look how great the Spanish bullfighters move, wait sometimes they don't make it, no worries, this is fencing man, Britains version of ju jitsu.

  No masks allowed, and the spandex would be a no-no, to much to grab on too, no way should a professional fencer ever be allowed an advantage.

  New York is the fencing capital of the United States, wait wrong fencing, anyway, if a guy named Jean Luke can make a fool out of some of the best MMA has to offer then I am all for it. I didn't call it a martial art Wikipedia did, and damnit, they stand by there stubs written by men in library's across this nations greatest prison systems.

  Can any of you look me in the eyes and tell me I am wrong, well if we both had webcams i guess you could, but thats not the point. I live on the edge, and this bold yet misunderstood sport has not gotten the respect that it, hold on please, I can't stop pissing myself, okay, deserves.

  I will be damned if wiffle ball leagues are popping up around the states and these fine young people have to hide behind a mask, not because they do not want to lose an eyeball but for the ridicule that surley will come to the first fencing master to step into the cage.

  I would delight in the fact that Mike Goldberg would actually have to shut Joe Rogan up on the fact that he is by far more knowledgable about the dangerous and deadly ways of the courtsy, the bow, the respect of the fighter stopping to tell Herb Dean that A POINT WAS NOT PROPERLY DEDUCTED!

  Damn you England for not bringing this art to my attention sooner, AKA,I think you are a fighter short in your club, Cung isn't cutting it, maybe it's time for a change .