As the trade deadline approaches, Celtics fans have an uneasy feeling in their stomachs about the direction the team is headed. The biggest question is whether or not the club should trade Ray Allen, or try and win it all with him?
In all honesty, keeping Ray would be a huge mistake. The C's are already over the cap next year without Ray's $19 million salary. If they let him play out the season and walk, they'll have nothing to show for it since they won't be in the mix for any of the 29 superstars set to hit the market.
But let's go beyond traditional trades for a moment and come up with some alternative ideas that Danny Ainge and the brass may not have considered just yet.
1.) Dress up Brian Scalabrine as Teen Wolf each game. Here's an instance where we can keep the Ray. The point is to make the other team laugh so hard while on the court, that they can't play D worth a darn. Plus Scal could pad his stats and get a nice contract to play in Transylvania next season.
2.) Get Scott Brown, our new Senator, to pass legislation that enables husbands and wives to become interchangeable between their occupations. Long story short, trade Shelden Williams for Candace Parker. No offense to Shelden: He was great when called upon early in the season, but his wife has better game.
3.) Utilize the "Flying V" or "Wedge" each time down the court. It'll take a little bit of practice to get around the charging calls, but why wouldn't you use the most dominating move in Football history...in the NBA?? I'm sure there's no rule against it. Give Rajon Rondo the ball, put Kendrick Perkins in front, and who's gonna stop ya?
4.) Just clone Ray. That way we get something back for him AND get to keep him. Brilliant!