Satire

What Makes a Game a Sport?

Amir FaSaadContributor IJuly 1, 2008

Nathan's Famous Fourth of July International Hot Dog Eating Contest...is not a sport! 

Most would agree that the late George Carlin's definition of a sport rings true, "A real sport has to have a defense!" Therefore; food-eating contests, most Olympic competitions, bowling, golf, etc. are not sports.

While sportsmanship may be required in the aforementioned events; there is no defense. And soccer (football) barely makes my list. Yes, it has defense, but you can not use your perfectly good arms and hands. In fact, sex is more of a sport!

While I'm at it; Nathan's hot dogs are not really hot dogs. A real hot dog has a casing that juicily explodes open and should be charred. Nathan's has neither of these things happening. They are more interested in the condiments that cover up the burned, dried-out, shriveled up tubes of mystery meat they pass off as hot dogs. You may as well have a bologna sandwich.

In fact, this article is more of a sport than some. Because this "hot dog" of a writer is gonna have to defend himself from the Nathan-eating, agony of defeat, Biathlon competitors.

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