Boston Red Sox

Dr. Strangestach or: How I Learned to Stop Hating and Love Jason Giambi

Matt BreenCorrespondent IJuly 1, 2008

Like all Red Sox fans, and probably a lot of Yankee fans, I hated Jason Giambi. I mean I'm not a huge hater, I don't hate all the Yankees or anything immature like that but I hated Giambi with a Passion.

What's not to hate? He juiced hardcore to get a fat paycheck with the Yankees, got cancer, people felt bad for him? sucked, recovered won comeback player of the year!? and overall resembles a recovering alcoholic with his profuse sweating and slicked back hair.

But this year I've learned to put the hate behind me and like Jason Giambi.

I love the mustache. It's so ugly and moronic, I can't hate on it, I like it! Seriously, it has asshole written all over it.

I love the thong! This guy wears a thong on the field, admittedly and is proud. It's not weird, or gay; it's unique!

I mean, who wants pantylines in pinstripes anyways?

 He even shares it with his teammates. Let's hope he washes it after Jeter and A-Rod use it or else there'll more crabs in there than Baltimore.

The whole steroid thing? Hey, everyone else does it. This is America! Get that money any way you can!

Basically what I'm saying is I hated Giambi because he was a tool. Now that he is officially the biggest tool in the MLB, I can't hate on him, I actually like him.

Don't shave the mustache.

Don't wear traditional male undergarments. Don't stop abusing performance enhancing drugs. Stay classy Mr. Giambi. I love you.

 

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