Gilbert Arenas' Payday, or How to Spend $100 Million

The Washington Wizards are, apparently, ready to shell out $100 million in order to secure the services of Gilbert Arenas for the long-term.

That's what you call giraffe money. When you've got that kind of coin, you might as well buy a giraffe.

I can't imagine any athlete, or anyone for that matter, being worth that kind of money. Particularly Arenas, who missed most of last season because of bad knees and surgery.

And even with a $100 million offer on the way, Arenas still doesn't think that's enough, demanding $124 million over six years, or $20.6 million per season.

For argument's sake, let's say Arenas gets his $100 million payday in one lump sum. What can one buy for that kind of moolah? Excluding the giraffe.

Boeing 737

For about half of his $100 million payoff, Arenas could purchase a Boeing 737 and still have plenty of money to staff it. Rising fuel costs, however, could drain him dry of any remaining pocket money he may have.

Ronde Island

In October of last year, Ronde Island, located in Grenada, was put on the market for $100 million. According to the company trying to unload the Caribbean paradise, "The unusual size, excellent location, and magnificent beauty make the island highly desirable."

If it's still on the market, Arenas could probably build his own private basketball court where he could rehab those bum knees during the offseason.

48 Lunch Dates with Warren Buffet

The man who made obscene amounts of money on the stock market held a charity auction on Ebay recently. A Chinese investment fund manager made a winning bid of $2.1 million to dine with the Wall Street wiz. Arenas could buy 48 of these lunches and perhaps learn how to wisely invest his salary.

The Presidency

If he was frugal enough, could speak as eloquently as Barack Obama, and justify to the American people why he deserved $100 million to play basketball, Arenas could make a run for president of the United States.

A campaign costs roughly 100 million large, but I'm sure he'd be able to raise some additional funds for any extra costs that creep up.

Of course, Arenas could donate a large sum of his money to Washington area schools. For every point Arenas made in the 2006-07 season, he donated $100 to D.C. schools described as "dysfunctional" but currently undergoing major reform.

It's a nice gesture, but imagine if Arenas applied a year's salary, $20 million, to that same system. I think the schools could do some amazing things with that kind of money. Heck, they might even name a school gym or outdoor b-ball court after Arenas. 

In my books, that's money well spent.