Hey girl, long time. I know you haven't seen me since the fall but I have not forgotten about you. How could I? You are the talk of the town and we share so many wonderful memories together.
I remember when I first laid eyes on you. Sure, you were slightly intimidating with your majestic aura, but your classic beauty and your sheer size captivated me. I know you don't like it when I mention that but I like big girls. There's more to love.
You just know how to make a man happy. Call me shallow, but I love a woman who will feed me. You know my favorite foods, like the personal pizzas you make me and the hot dogs. You never forget my condiment of choice, spicy mustard. My family loves you too, but you knew that already. After all, they introduced us.
I know we have our differences. You are against smoking and drinking but trust me I'm trying to cut back. There is also our age discrepancy with you being 89 and all, but you're still attractive to me. With your countless face-lifts and makeovers, you look better than ever.
I guess what I'm trying to say, Neyland, is you will always hold a special place in my heart. I realize we will never be exclusive, I've gotten use to sharing you with over 100,000 people, but I do enjoy spending our weekends together and I hope it continues. See you in the fall.
Your soulmate, Brian