'LOST' Season 6 Premiere: Comparing Characters to Football Coaches
If you're like me, every fall, you're probably asked, "Is there anything more addicting than college football?"
And if you watch LOST, the answer is always, "Yes."
It's my one true television indulgence that isn't part of DirecTV's sports package. Heck, President Obama rescheduled the State of the Union Address to accommodate the show.
For five seasons, David Lindelof and Carlton Cuse have held me captive alongside Jack, Kate, and the survivors of Oceanic Flight 815. And much like the past five seasons of Notre Dame football, LOST has always left me with more questions than answers.
You won't find Brian Kelly in the following slides, as I'm hoping he's the solution for my Fighting Irish.
However, there are 16 other college football coaches who distinctly remind me of the perplexing cast of characters on LOST, which premieres its final season on Tuesday at 8/7c. (You're welcome, ABC.)
*All LOST images courtesy Bad Robot Productions & ABC Studios.
Bernard Nadler - George O'Leary
This slide show is not supposed to be about personal appearance. It's not intended to perpetuate the doppelganger trend running rampant on Facebook.
But you'll have to admit, George O'Leary kind of looks like Bernard.
Plus, he survived the plane crash that was the resume debacle, and now, much like Bernard and Rose, chooses to live out his coaching days on the island that is UCF football.
*Image courtesy: wikipedia.org
Daniel Faraday - Mike Leach
He may currently be unemployed, but former Texas Tech Head Coach Mike Leach was known as the Mad Scientist, and that description also fits the slightly unstable Daniel Faraday, a time-traveling physicist.
*Image courtesy: letsblogsports.wordpress.com
Ethan Rom - Rich Rodriguez
Ethan is the ultimate "Other," which is exactly how many Michigan men feel about Rich Rod following back-to-back losing seasons for the first time since 1963.
The first time you saw these guys, your skin started to crawl, and you knew something wasn't right.
The ultimate impostor, Ethan's death was both a relief and a frustration, because he surely held so many answers to the island's mysteries.
Will Rodriguez also be killed off by the Wolverines before he can provide answers in Ann Arbor?
*Image courtesy: peptalk.freedomblogging.com
Desmond Hume - Jeff Tedford
Lives in a hatch and presses a button every 108 minutes?
The only coach I know with a job that redundant is Cal's Jeff Tedford.
Golden Bears in 2010?
Let me guess: Heisman candidate at running back, unwarranted top 25 ranking, no real answer at quarterback, exposed in Pac-10 play, eight-win season.
Sound familiar? It's life in Berkeley.
Michael Dawson - Dan Hawkins
Michael is a remorseful father willing to risk it all for his son, Walt, who's also stranded on the island and later abducted by the Others.
Let's see. College football coach with a paternal conflict of interest. Hmmm...
Colorado's head coach, who handed the Buffs starting job to his son in 2007, only to bench Cody after five games in 2009, and then state publicly that in hindsight, he should not have recruited him.
*Image courtesy: jbjsports.wordpress.com
Jin-Soo Kwon - Mike Gundy
Coincidentally, Michael and Jin had their early run-ins on LOST, and so we transition from Dan Hawkins to Big12 rival Mike Gundy.
Remember that moment when the soft-spoken but occasionally hot-headed Jin first burst out in English?
Tell me that didn't have a little "I'm a man! I'm 40!" in it.
*Image courtesy: blogs.ajc.com
Charles Widmore - Joe Paterno
The ageless industrialist who once led the island in its prosperity only to be exiled and begin a relentless pursuit to recapture past glory.
Charles Widmore could only be compared to Penn State's Joe Paterno, who's been around as long as the island and has led a valiant, late-life resurgence.
Will Paterno win that elusive third national championship before his series finale?
Surely, he's got better odds that Widmore. Right?
*Image courtesy: blog.pennlive.com
Richard Alpert - Mack Brown
Richard: Seemingly ageless; in fact, no one really knows how old he is. He has always been on the island, and he rarely leaves the island unless he needs to recruit someone for the island.
Mack: Seemingly ageless; in fact, no one really knows how old he is. He has always been in Texas, and he rarely leaves Texas unless he needs to recruit someone for Texas.
*Image courtesy: scttkrkwd.tumblr.com
Hugo "Hurley" Reyes - Ralph Friedgen
Alright, last look-alike, I promise.
Even if Charlie Weis and Mark Mangino were still around, Friedgen is a more jovial guy, and therefore a better comparison, anyway.
*Image courtesy: daylife.com
Sayid Jarrah - Chris Petersen
Sayid is a likable assassin, and the only college football coach I know that fits the description is Boise State's Chris Petersen.
From Oklahoma to Oregon, this guy picks off more powerhouses than the CIA.
*Image courtesy: sfgate.com
Charlie Pace - Nick Saban
We were all skeptical of Charlie at first. Wasn't exactly forthcoming with that whole heroin addiction, was he?
Yet he won us all over with the heroic Season Three finale, drowning to help the survivors communicate with the outside world.
Saban was similarly disingenuous, denying that he'd become the head coach at Alabama.
But fresh off a national championship, he's the envy of college football.
I do wonder about both their guitar skills...
*Image courtesy: mkrob.com
John Locke - Les Miles
Crazy as can be and better for it...sometimes.
Locke is the show's man of faith. He acts against the grain based on feelings and instinct.
Never mind down and distance, clock management and timeouts. Just go with your gut. Sometimes you get 25-23, Ole Miss. Other times, you get Matt Flynn to Demetrius Byrd.
*Image courtesy: blog.nola.com
James "Sawyer" Ford - Jim Harbaugh
A young, good-looking, loose cannon with evolving leadership skills, ready to take the reigns of a big operation.
Whether we're talking Sawyer and the survivors or Jim Harbaugh and the Stanford Cardinals, these instigators would rather go for two than take a knee.
*Image courtesy: thebiglead.com
Jack Shephard - Jim Tressel
Steady and in control, though occasionally fragile under pressure, Jim Tressel is the Jack Shephard of college football.
For a while, we questioned both their positions of authority. However, just as the lead character in the Big Ten and his Buckeyes came through in the Rose Bowl, you have to believe Season Six is Shephard's time to shine.
*Image courtesy: americansportsblog.wordpress.com
Jacob - Urban Meyer
For most of the LOST series, Jacob was spoken of with god-like reverence.
And as we later learned, a master recruiter who visits every survivor well before their arrival on the island.
All characteristics we would have attributed to Florida's Urban Meyer after two national championships in three seasons.
But now, it appears Jacob's reputation is being challenged, and certainly Saban provides the same threat to Meyer in the SEC.
Tough to decide which resolution we're looking forward to most.
Benjamin Linus - Lane Kiffin
Last, but certainly not least, Ben.
A little late to the party, but a lightening rod for debate ever since his arrival. We've observed Ben for three seasons, yet anyone who claims they know for certain whether he's good or bad is guessing, at best. And anyone who trusts him is gambling.
Enter Lane Kiffin, also with three seasons under his belt.
LOST knows that after posting records of 4-12, 1-3, and 7-6, he might just be the biggest mystery in sports.
And is undoubtedly the most controversial.
Suffice it to say, USC just took a seat at the high-stakes table.
Here's to a new season... of LOST and college football.