Royal Rumble 2010...Can I Get a Refund, Please?

Kenneth FinkContributor IFebruary 1, 2010

As I sit here and type, I wonder how many others here on the B/R are writing something about last night's Royal Rumble.

Well after having a chance to sleep on it and then watch it again just to give myself the benefit of the doubt, I just couldn't keep it in any longer.

The Rumble sucked, plain and simple. There really isn't a better way to put it.

But in the spirit of things, I will do my best to break down the debacle that was the Royal Rumble.

ECW Championship match: Christian vs. Zeke Jackson

We all knew this would be the first match of the night and I didn't mind at all. Christian and Big Zeke put on a decent match, but it wasn't a PPV-quality match that I would have expected.

Both hit some good spots, and in the end, Christian retained. A slow start to the night, and I thought the match was about a 6.5 out of 10.

United States Championship match: The Miz vs. MVP

I was looking forward to this match and it was a huge letdown. The match was both short and really not that great to watch.

I expected Miz to win dirty if he won at all, but the whole match just seemed out of sync, and the only real highlight was MVP hitting the playmaker after the match ended. 4 out of 10.

WWE Championship match: Sheamus vs. Randy Orton

The B/R has been loaded with stories about this match, and I too wondered how two heels would pull off a great match. Well I have to admit that the match wasn't that bad.

Sheamus looked somewhat credible from the start of the match and even seemed to use caution when he went after Orton. Both superstars had some high points and then my worst fears came into play.

Cody Rhodes showed up and tried to hit Sheamus while the referee wasn't looking and got busted clear as day.

As Sheamus made his way back into the ring, Orton nailed a huge RKO which easily got the biggest reaction from the crowd all night and then went for the pin when the ref called for the bell and announced that Sheamus was the winner by DQ.

Afterwards, Rhodes did his best to apologize but Orton was livid and attacked Rhodes. DiBiase ran to help, but he too was attacked by Orton opening a huge door into the break up of Legacy and Orton.

I would have prefered the match to have been longer so we could have seen what Sheamus could do against a real opponent, but I'd still give the match a 7.5 out of 10.

Women's Championship: Michelle McCool vs. Mickie James

To say it simply: WTF!!!! I have looked forward to seeing this match for a while and even expected to see a quality match with these two in the ring.

But what we got was a pathetic attempt at a joke gone wrong and a match that lasted all of 10 seconds.

Afterwards the face divas joined in and helped smash some cake into McCool and Layla's face and then laugh and act like it was all a good idea.

A total waste of a match, 0.5 out of 10. (.5 is for seeing some hot chicks covered in cake)

World Heavyweight Championship: The Undertaker vs. Rey Mysterio

The last regular match on the card and rightfully so. I have to say that when this match started I was already questioning why I bought the PPV and really hoped that this match would make it worth it.

Well it was a good match, easily the best of all the matches so far. But again I wasn't that thrilled overall. I was extremely happy that there wasn't any interference by Batista or HBK, leaving Mysterio a real opportunity to show what he had against the Deadman.

The match was done at the Undertaker's pace from the start, some big hits and misses followed by the slow grueling type of punishment that the Undertaker enjoys showing his victims.

Early on, Mysterio had little going his way, missing far more than he hit, but using his quickness, Rey started gaining some momentum and we even saw a bloodied Undertaker after a diving attack by Mysterio. (A bloody nose granted, but still a good way to show Mysterio was actually causing some damage) .

Mysterio would keep up his quick pace and hit not one but two 619's back to back and when he leapt to put down the Deadman he would counter by catching Rey and nailing an absolutely huge Last Ride and then pinning Rey for the win.

Again, I felt this match was a little short like the others, I know the Undertaker isn't 100 percent, so I am willing to overlook it. The best match of the night by far, 8.5 out of 10.

The Royal Rumble Match

Finally, the match we all wanted to see. Before the match even started, my house had money on the table in a series of bets and that only made watching the match even sweeter.

But what we saw was probably the worst Rumble in the history of the event

CM Punk playing God early on and eliminating everyone in the ring quick enough to get a mic and start talking, what a crock.

But then Beth Phoenix entered and I was psyched, she even eliminated the Great Khali which got a huge pop from the crowd. But then again we saw Punk toss her out after a GTS and start talking again.

But just when Punk started going on about how he was better than everyone, the game Triple H was the next one out. Morrison and McIntyre would enter after and finally we had more than 3 guys in the ring at the same time.

But that too would be short lived. From around entrant 10 until around the 20's we saw the young blood of the WWE come and go far too quickly.

While most expected someone like DiBiase or Morrison to win they would get eliminated and far too early. But the worst offense of the night was the treatment of Matt Hardy, when his music hit the crowd went nuts and I immediately bet that he would be one of the last 5 in the match.

Well that was money gone almost as fast as I made the bet as he was out in less than two minutes. Even the giants in the Big Show and Mark Henry got jobbed in this match, and both where eliminated by R-Truth.

We got teased when HBK and HHH were the last two in the ring together, but they would never go at one another in the entire match until HBK kicked HHH out of the match.

As we neared the end I was disappointed that there where no real surprise entrants other than Beth Phoenix and expected Edge to be number 30. But instead he came in at No. 29, and got the biggest reaction from the crowd of the entire night.

Batista would enter last and our last four were Cena, Edge, Batista, and HBK. At this point, I had no choice but to root for Edge as I had no desire to see any of the others win.

I got to see Edge win, but it was still a letdown overall. The match would never have more than 6 or 7 guys in the ring at the same time, see multiple entrants tossed out within 2 minutes and even had the Miz and MVP in the match, why someone else wasn't thrown in who hadn't already had a match is beyond me.

No one really came in and hit the big spots aside from Edge, even Carlito hit three backstabbers, which was more than several others did.

This match was just very poorly done, and I really wish I hadn't watched it, and if you did, you too lost out on what should have been a great PPV.

This guaranteed that I don't get another PPV until Wrestlemania and likely won't get another until Summerslam. Last year's match was 10 times better than this year's and I would give the match a 4 out of 10.


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