New York Rangers: A Poetic Tribute To Mediocrity

Metro HockeyCorrespondent IJanuary 28, 2010

Ladies and gentlemen, the time has come
The Rangers are tanking, and Torts is a bum.
Game by game they cannot score, they appear to be in a trance
Chris Higgins couldn’t score at the Bunny Ranch.

They practiced the powerplay for more than an hour
Pass by pass out of the zone, the team has gone sour.
The locker room is as disjointed as an abandoned zoo
My goodness management, what are we to do?

Fire the coach, fire the trainer
Fire Sather too, it’s a no-brainer.
Away with the mediocrity, it must go
Man oh man, how much this team blows.

Dolan is sitting counting his cash
How many years did Sather give “Brash”?
And all the opponents, winning and having a ball
Tank! Tank! Tank! Set our sights on Taylor Hall.

All Michelletti does is spew his propaganda
Voros fights like a giant, tranquilized panda.
The goals against, they are really starting to pour
Hey fans, it’s okay, we still have 1994!

Well my friends, this short poem is over
Our toughest players can be moved with a leaf blower.
Coaches, management, players, they all dropped the ball
I’m just praying it isn’t too late for Taylor Hall.

To see the photo album that goes along with it, click here.