A Letter from Ben Sheets' Ugly Swing

Right Field BleachersCorrespondent IJanuary 26, 2010

Hi Brewer fans,

Well, as you know, me and the Sheeter are heading to M.C. Hammer’s old stomping ground. Big ol’ Ben actually made $10 Million from the Moneyball guys! Yeah, I can’t believe it either. Anywho, you may have noticed Benny wasn’t that interested in coming back to Milwaukee. First, you have to be fair, Milwaukee wasn’t that interested in him either, but I’m here to set the record straight. Ben Sheets really wanted to go to the AL. Yep. The teams that kept coming up in rumors we’re mostly AL teams: Rangers, Boston, and Oakland. The Mets and Dodgers were interested and have good pitching stadiums, but we barely listened to them. Would you like to know why he wanted to go to the AL with the DH? It’s because of me! His ugly ass swing!

You see, Benny and I know this might be his last shot to prove he’s an ace. He doesn’t want to do anything to jeopardize that, which means not using me. You remember me…wild, unruly, scary, horrid, wretched, laughable, etc… You also know that Ben Sheets gets hurt in the most unlikely of ways. I could have really hurt Ben’s arm…elbow…shoulder…head…spine…kneecap…ACL…MCL…hamstring…ankle…and foot. Not to mention, any crazy pitch could end his career (and with the Rockies and Diamondbacks looking at Turnbow, the chance was there). Now Ben doesn’t have to worry about using me or my kid brother, the bunt. This takes out a big, unnecessary risk for Ben’s return to baseball.

So as you can see, Ben meant no ill-will. He honestly enjoyed his time as a Brewer, but you weren’t interested in him and he wasn’t interested in the NL. You can feel free to blame me!

Sincerely,
Ben Sheets’ Ugly Swing

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