Congratulations World, We Now Have a Soccer Ball Kicking Machine

Somewhere between man bags and moisturizing lotions, it was established that Real Madrid dreamboat Crisitano Ronaldo, can kick a soccer ball at around 80 mph.  I’m not sure why that litmus test is important, outside of regular humans thinking, “Holy shit, that would really hurt if it connected with my nuts.”, but that’s besides the point.

The point here is that BP Castrol Japan, who makes oil and lubricants and other slippery stuff, created a soccer ball kicking apparatus that can reach speeds of 124 mph.  Take a look at this innovation, my friends.

Yeah, a little strange.  Actually, a *lot* strange.

Why is the machine so friggin’ big?  The doohickey that actually “kicks” the soccer ball is the size of a golf club.  If this thing becomes legal in the field of play, it could actually drive over a wall – much less kick around it, or through it.  I guess that’s the point, right?  To kick *through* the wall?  Who the hell knows.  I’m confused.

Castrol needs to stick to its sweet spot in sports; advertising on NASCAR automobiles.  They make dreams of mustached-Americans come true.

[ Crunch Gear ]

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