Ex-WWE/WCW Star Rants About TNA

Siva PrasadCorrespondent IJanuary 25, 2010


Former WWE/WCW/ECW wrestler Lance Storm is back with his latest rant on TNA. I thought it’d address it here, because it’s actually very entertaining. Especially for a guy once had a gimmick which revolved around him being BORING.

Lance Storm:

I never liked the six sided ring and thought it just screamed “Silly Gimmick,” so I welcomed the return to a conventional ring. I found the matches much easier to watch and after the initial “oh hey it’s a real ring” I quickly didn’t notice the ring any more and could focus on the product.

There you go TNA fans. Lance Storm agrees with Hulk Hogan, that stupid six sides is just a playpen. It’s not a real ring. It doesn’t matter that the biggest promotion in Mexico (AAA) uses it, and doesn’t matter that there were a large majority of TNA’s live audience chanting for a RING OVER HOGAN. Yes, the dismantled six sides ring got a louder reaction than Hogan.

It’s ironic because the last time I saw Lance Storm was WWE Judgement Day 2003, and he got a reaction so non-existent that you might have been able to hear the crickets. And there was nothing a good ol’ four sided ring could do to change that.


Lance Storm:

AJ (Styles) got in the ring and stood between Flair’s two girls and they were both taller than him. Book shorter girls or make them take off their heels when they get in the ring!

I’m at a loss of words to explain just how absent of logic this statement is.

For starters, the French president Nicolas Sarkozy is shorter than his ex-model wife. Charles was shorter than Princess Diana. Nicole Kidman was taller than Tom Cruise.

Somehow they all managed to get through those horrible visuals. Maybe Lance Storm was bullied by a girl taller than him at school. If anyone out there has information on why Lance Storm is terrified by taller women, let us know. It’s quite disturbing.

Lance Storm:

The new (TNA) regime needs to make it clear to fans that they can be trusted to deliver. What a better way to show that you are Wrestling and not bulls*** Sports Entertainment, like you are claiming to be, than to actually stick to and honour the finish and stipulation of your wrestling matches; especially on the heels of WWE going something like five weeks in a row screwing fans over on the “Jericho off RAW for good” stipulation.

First off, I’ve always felt that this Wrestling/Sports Entertainment conundrum is like Soccer/Football. No one cares about the change of two words, and people only complain about it when they’ve run out of things to whine about.

Secondly, I’m sure all you guys who have been watching RAW for the past few months will agree that Y2J has made it a hell of a lot more entertaining. His constant attempts to try and get back on RAW, and his long running feud with DX have gone a long way to redeeming the WWE for making Sheamus the WWE Champion.

However, that’s not the point according to Storm. Screw entertainment, stipulations in wrestling ought to be legally binding. So throw Jericho out now!

I have a question to ask. In 2009, despite being retired Lance Storm BROKE his retirement to wrestle for ROH. ZOMG!!!!

I advise everyone to prepare now for the impending apocalypse. 2012 will be coming early.

Might be getting overboard here, but you get my point.

Finally, to wrap it all up...

Lance Storm:

The Montreal finish makes no sense when the reigning champ is the one going over! Why bother conspiring with a ref, and fighting this whole match when you are the reigning champion? AJ could just get DQ’d, counted out; you name it, and still retained his title. The whole point of Montreal was that Shawn had to get a pin fall or submission on the existing champ in order to WIN the title. Doesn’t anyone pay attention to details anymore?

It must be painful watching a wrestling show if you are Lance Storm. Over analyzing to the maximum, Lance Storm would make most critics look kind and brief.

As for his statement, may I ask a simple question? Why don’t all heel champions just get themselves DQ’ed? Why does Edge bother defending the title when he can just smack Cena with his belt? Shouldn’t Triple H knock his opponents out with the sledge hammer at the START of the match?

There’s a reason for that, and I’ll whisper it so Lance Storm doesn’t flip out.

Because if all heels listened to Lance Storm, they wouldn’t be ENTERTAINING.

Of course you guys may be of the opinion that Lance Storm actually has some well informed opinions about TNA, there are two sides to every story after all. Thoughts?

Image credit: TNAWrestling.com