There’s no doubt in my mind that going to a game is a real thrill, but it’s also a seriously taxing endeavor. What’s better than sitting at home and kicking your feet up on your coffee table, especially when winter kicks in and money is tight?
You can drag me out of my house on the weekends to see some mega sports betting matchups like Lakers-Celtics or Pats-Colts, but if it were up to me, I’m staying in on the weekends. If you needed me to spell the reason out for you, then here they are:
5. No Bathroom Lines
I’m terrified of getting bladder infections, so when I have to break the seal, I just do it. There’s nothing worse than having to wait in a 400-person line when you have to pee.
The worst part is when your bladder and bowels instinctively know that you’re about 10-feet away from a crapper and Hell’s gates begin to break open while you’re standing in line. I hate the thought of this. It terrifies me.
My three biggest fears in public are pissing myself, crapping in my pants, and public speaking. At home, there’s no line, and if there is, I just go anyways. I have a girlfriend to clean up after me and I’m not risking severe infection just so she doesn’t have to do her damn job.
4. Traffic Sucks
If you spend all week jammed in traffic like the rest of the world, the last thing you want to do is spend your Saturday or Sunday evening in a car. That’s exactly what you’ll be doing if you go to a game.
My favorite part about watching a game at home is knowing my bed is about 10 feet away. You think driving drunk is stupid? How about sitting in gridlock while you’re trying to shake off a haze. It’s impossible to stay awake.
(Note—don’t drink and drive, dumbass!)
3. More Games = More Fun
I’ve gone to a lot of games, and only five of them have been excessively memorable. Sure, the experiences of seeing Yankee Stadium , Fenway, and freezing my ass off in Soldier Field were all worth it, but all of those games were just god awful.
You’re paying for cable anyway, right? If you’re smart, and have evolved to satellite, then you can back out of a bad game by just pressing a button. If you spend $100 on a ticket, you’re committed.
It’s like going on a blind date and you know you’re going to get fronted with the bill. You pray to god that she’s hot and totally accessible, but more than two-thirds of the time, she’s not.
2. Your Viewing Pleasure
Unless you’re at a hockey game, there are plenty of bad seats in the house. Sure, half of the fun of going to a game is just to be around a bunch of drunks wearing similar colors, but this isn’t the KKK.
With things like HD, Skycam , and high-paid producers to make games a viewing pleasure, sometimes sitting in the warmth of your own living room is far better than cramming yourself in to a plastic tomb. Besides, when you’re at home, the fat lady in front of you doesn’t get all pissed off when you try to put your feet up.
1. Save Money On Expenses, Spend It On Beer
Going to a game is downright expensive, especially if you’re taking your stupid family with you. Tickets are between $50-$500, then its $20 for parking, $50 for food and drinks (if you’re lucky), and, of course, gas money you burn while stuck in traffic.
All of these are reasons not to go to a game, and you can spend less than half of that money on a case of beer instead. Also, you get to watch the game in your underpants. So what if your friends protest? It’s your freaking living room!
Be sure to read the Top Five Reasons to Go to a Game vs. Staying at Home in my article here: The Ultimate Fan Debate - Your Couch Vs Front Row Seat