Meyer Returns To Gator Sideline After Successful Surgery (humor)

William Ramsey@bigpermramseyContributor IIJanuary 13, 2010

NEW ORLEANS - DECEMBER 27:  Head coach Urban Meyer of the University of Florida Gators speaks during a press conference on December 27, 2009 in New Orleans, Louisiana.  Meyer is going to take a leave of absense from the team due to health concerns.  (Photo by Chris Graythen/Getty Images)
Chris Graythen/Getty Images

In a bizarre week of coaching news in the SEC, none is stranger than the news about Florida coach Urban Meyer.

Meyer took a leave of absence after the Sugar Bowl to work on his health while not specifying what those health issues might have been.

We can now confirm what was believed all the time. 

Meyer underwent successful hemorrhoid surgery to remove some Kiffins that were apparently headed west instead of north like they should have.

The Kiffins were affectionately named as they were removed from the buttocks of Coach Meyer earlier today.  One named Lane and one named Monte.  There was another hemorrhoid attached to the Lane, which was given a more scientific name, Orgeron.  It appeared to be locked onto the backside of the Lane.

Coach Meyer released a statement to the media just a short time ago to say thanks for the well wishes and he stated for the record, he was happy not to have a pain in the butt anymore.

More to come as this twist unfolds.

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