There's a greater chance of Rafael Palmeiro doing another Viagra commercial than me giving a crap about Mark McGwire's admission to steroid and HGH use.

Let me put this into perspective for everyone. McGwire is one of the greatest sluggers of all time and is certainly the greatest right-handed home run hitter that ever lived. Forget Albert Pujols, Alex Rodriguez, Sammy Sosa, and Hank Aaron. This man was the best, and the statistics back me up:

-All-time leader in at-bats per home run at 10.6 (beating Babe Ruth by roughly 1.2 at-bats).

-The only player in history to record homer totals in the '20s, '30s, '40s, '50s, '60s, and '70s.

-The years in which he put up his best home run numbers (52, 58, 70, and 65) were all accompanied with at least 100 walks.

-Six straight seasons with an OPS of 1.000 or greater.

-In his final season in 2001, he managed to hit 29 homers during a year in which he only recorded 56 hits.

Despite an injury-plagued career, Big Mac finished his stellar career with 583 home runs, 1,414 RBI, and a .982 OPS. And everyone's debating whether this guy has the credentials to get into the Hall of Fame? Gary Carter, Bill Mazeroski, Phil Rizzuto, and Jim Rice were better than Mark McGwire? Get real!

Just look at the election results for 2010 and you'll notice Barry Larkin received 150 more votes than McGwire. Barry Larkin? No disrespect to Larkin or anything. He was a fine player, but are these writers telling me that Larkin was better than Mark McGwire?

As I was watching McGwire's live interview with Mr. Baseball (others know him as Bob Costas), I was surprised and relieved at the same time to hear some sense out of McGwire's mouth. In fact, he's the first baseball player in his admission to take us through the art and mechanics of hitting.

He said that during the '93 and '94 seasons when he was wiped out with foot injuries, he took the time to study opposing pitchers' tendencies and truly understand the science behind hitting a baseball and facing pitchers. As a result, according to McGwire, he became a better and more patient hitter, thus allowing him to record greater home run totals.

McGwire pointed out the fact that he also changed his swing during that time by taking his immense bat speed and shortening his swing to the ball. The end result: More home runs and improved batting averages. Excluding the '93 and '94 seasons, from 1986 to 1992 McGwire hit .247, and from 1995 to 2001 he hit .278.

No wonder why he decided to take the fifth in front of Congress. Those degenerates wouldn't have understood a damn thing he said in his interview today. Could you imagine McGwire explaining to Henry Waxman hitting mechanics? That guy can't even touch net on a Fisher Price hoop, yet somehow he would be able to grasp the concept of a shortened swing? All Congress is and all they ever were is legalized mafia.

Although it was refreshing to hear McGwire's take on the effects of steroids on hand-eye coordination and overall skill at the plate, McGwire, like many other rational people, flat out said that there is not a single drug than can make you a better hitter. And he couldn't have been more correct.

Speaking of hand-eye coordination, if a musician wanted to become a better sight reader of musical pieces, would he or she benefit from taking steroids? After all, sight reading is a skill that solely involves hand-eye coordination.

In his interview with Tom Thumb, McGwire stated he began to use steroids and HGH on a regular basis in order to recover from his injuries. According to McGwire, he took low doses because he was using the drugs strictly for health reasons—not to gain strength and mass.

In reality, however, his physical appearance drastically changed after he began to use steroids and HGH. He became much bigger and stronger, but, then again, steroids are powerful stuff. Given his large physique and intense workout routines, it's no surprise that McGwire blew up to a ripped, 250-pound figure.

All we're looking at here is a proud man who loved to play the game. He didn't want to retire in the prime of his career, and he sure as hell wasn't going to settle with his career earnings up until the '93 season.

Who could blame him? He had every right to help his body out by taking steroids, illegal or not. Steroids don't do a damn thing. Never have and never will.

And can everyone please stop calling steroids and HGH "performance-enhancing drugs"?! They are not "performance-enhancing" at all. The only magic these substances provide is speedy injury recovery. That's it! If steroids and HGH are "performance-enhancing" then so is Advil, Tylenol, Aspirin, etc.

I have a splitting headache and I want an Advil to alleviate the pain...uh-oh! I'm a cheater. I'm a disgrace to the planet. My mother and father hate me. No girl wants to sleep with me. I got a one-way ticket to a room in hell with Hitler, Mussolini, and Bob Feller.

I hope McGwire can find some peace in his new job as the hitting coach for the Cardinals, because I sure as hell can't with all these morons around me.