Missouri Tigers Football: Churning the Rumor Mill in the Dead of Summer

Matt Thiel says June is a bad month to be a College Football fan.

by Matt Thiel (Columnist)

2

242 reads

Sports

June 25, 2008

Football, College Football, Big 12 Football, Missouri Tigers Football, Chase Daniel

It's June, which is a bad month to be a College Football fan. See, you're usually still hungover from New Year's Day Bowl games throughout February, March/April are combine and draft, April also has Spring drills, and May starts recruiting.

June blows more than a $2 hooker because you're so close to camp opening up in July (plus NCAA 09 comes out for you nerds). Really, all we have to live off in June is football preview mags...and rumors.

Let's focus on the latter as far as Mizzou rolls right now.

If you've ever been on the idiot circle jerk known as Tigerboard, you'll get the spectrum of knowledge ranging from Pinkel's Harley license plates to what DaNario Alexander's midterm grade was on his paper on Pol Pot.

Trust me if .03 percent of it was provable, we'd be in good hands. Sure, I'm a TB member and love to post responses, but I also get to read the awesome rumors that are floating around in June.

-Drew Temple may not play for Mizzou. According to a few geniuses, Drew isn't one. Rumor has it that he can't get the grades on his ACTs. I've seen a retarded monkey pass the ACT. Hell, Brock Olivo got into Mizzou. Trust me, you have talent and a scholarship, you're getting in. Well, maybe...

-George White isn't enrolled at Mizzou. Remember the retarded monkey reference I made 15 seconds ago? Ok, maybe I was wrong. George White couldn't get his grades up to get into Mizzou initially, and had to hit the JC/Prep School route. He has the grades up now, and rumor has it, he'll be enrolled for the second Summer School Session (July-ish).

-Dominic Grooms is leaving Mizzou. I'm hoping there is nothing to this, but apparently, the story has legs. It makes sense; Pinkel grabs the Blaines (mind out of gutter), and DG would be the '09 Brandon Coleman. Grooms actually has a shot at replacing Chase & Chase at QB in '09 if he sticks around. He knows the system, and has the talent to kill. He looked pretty good in the Spring Game other than a couple of plays. This rumor could fall in the .03 percent of truthfulness.

-Chase Daniel, or Chase Daniels/McDanielsen as he's known by the morans on TB (yes, I know I misspelled 'morons'. 'Morans' is another TB exclusive) is changing his number. No dice, people. Our chubby, short white guy is keeping the 10-spot on his back.

I love Junior High rumors!

By no way did I mean that these TB users are idiot circle jerk morans. I'm sure they may be Mizzourah readers. If so, a letter is in the mail of apology, including a collector's edition patch of Sleezy's chest hair.

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comments (2) write a comment »

  1. Yes, but can these morans spell "morons?"

  2. Good to see Mizzourah posting over here. Keep up the good work--and you were totally right about Funyons, by the way.

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About the Author Matt Thiel (columnist)

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